Miscalculation
by Taito-Yamachi-lvr
Summary: Chapter One contains SPOILERS FOR THE PASSING. I don't come right out and say who dies, but you can guess. I might have to change the rating. Nick swears a lot.
1. The Passing

At first, it had been a matter of pride.

Being told you were less attractive than a greasy biker was aggravating enough, but when the only woman in your group said it to you? There weren't enough curses to express Nick's anger, so he made a string of them into a very profane song. Needless to say, it didn't increase his appeal to Rochelle.

"Oh hush, Nick!" she scolded, angrily looking back at him over her shoulder. "Now I _know_ you're jealous! Besides, the zombies are sure to hear you if you keep that up."

Nick very nearly kept going, but she had a point. And no, he wasn't jealous, he was _pissed_. How in the _world _could Rochelle find that douchebag more attractive than yours truly? No _way _a gay-looking vest and a bunch of tattoos outclassed a three thousand dollar suit. Jealousy, ha! This was all about ego.

He kept quiet for a while after that, deciding instead to tease her repeatedly whenever the opportunity presented itself. And several did.

"Hey Rochelle, want me to tattoo your boyfriend's name on your arm? I'll just write "GREASY PIG", we all know who we're talking about."

He burst out laughing at the end. The look she was giving him was too funny.

Then, back at the bridge where she was trying to talk to that tattooed _disaster_, the jackass had the nerve to start _hitting_ on her! As if they weren't in the middle of a _goddamned_ zombie apocalypse!

"Should we leave you two alone?" Nick asked snidely.

"Yes!" Francis replied eagerly (that fucker).

"NO!" Rochelle hissed to him (oh thank God, maybe she wasn't really into him).

"What's the matter, sweetie, you playin' hard to get?" Nick muttered, grinning.

"Shut up, I'm just being nice!" she whispered back, blushing.

"I don't know, I saw the way you were lookin' at him!" he replied, raising his voice.

"Ssssh-"

"Aw, Depeck Mode! I love that guy!" that monkey asshole yelled down from the bridge. Great, now he was blatantly staring at her tits. Totally classy.

"Maybe you should get a room!" Nick yelled back, sounding angry.

"Witch! …oh sorry, I must have mistaken you for one of them with all that _crying_ you were doing."

Nick wanted to grab that goddamn bridge in his goddamn hands and shake the goddamn thing until that fucker fell off and cracked his head wiiiiiide open.

Eventually the two groups were able to reach an agreement. If the four on the ground would refuel the generator, then the three up top would lower the bridge so they could continue driving to New Orleans. Super.

A few Hordes, Tanks, and Special Infected later, the generator was gassed up, the bridge was down, and the four were on their way, shouting goodbyes as they ran for the car.

"Bye, Zoey! I love you!"

"Good luck, you guys!"

"Be safe!"

"Bye…sexy guy in the vest!"

"See you, brother!"

"I'm not your brother, greaseball!"

"Thanks for the help, y'all!"

Ellis flung himself into driver's seat and Coach joined him in the front passenger seat. Rochelle and Nick slid into the back seat and everyone slammed the doors closed.

"Ok, Ellis, get us outta here!" Coach instructed, and the young man stamped down on the gas pedal.

The car sped over a few Infected and then roared across the bridge, swiftly heading into the distant horizon.

"Man…I'll never forget that guy," Rochelle said dreamily, looking out the window.

Nick clenched his fist angrily. He was _damned_ if he was going to listen to her gush about that jackass the whole way to New Orleans.

"Hey, sweetheart? He'll probably forget you," Nick snapped. "Did you see that girl he was with?"

"Oh man DID I!" Ellis shouted from the front. " She was like an _an_-gel!"

"Ellis, shut up!" Nick yelled.

"Why are you such an asshole, Nick!?" Rochelle demanded, glaring at him. Her lip was shaking.

Oh shit, was she going to cry? For a moment, Nick felt like an ass. Then she turned away from him and wiped at her eyes, and he felt like a _complete_ ass.

"Ro," he muttered awkwardly. Fuck, how do you comfort women? He carefully put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me," she murmured sulkily, shrugging his hand off.

Ok, he was going to have to make a sincere apology. Nick glanced towards the front to make sure the two up there weren't listening.

"-_an_-gel, I tell you! Ah man, I shoulda married her-"

"-no cake at a wedding! WHO has _no cake_ at a wedding!? I tell you-"

Yup, safe on that front. He turned back to Rochelle.

"Ro, I'm sorry. I didn't really mean it," Nick said quietly.

She looked at him with an eyebrow cocked, as if to say, "Yeah, right, who are you trying to kid?" But at least she wasn't crying. Maybe he wasn't a complete ass. Still, he had to continue.

"You know any guy'd be glad to have you," he grinned.

"Yeah, since there's only two women left," she replied, and they both laughed.

"You know what I mean, though," he said seriously. "I don't care what Hayseed over there thinks, that Zoey girl probably couldn't heft an axe to save her life. You're like a…a warrior princess, princess."

Rochelle scoffed loudly and rolled her eyes, but he could tell she was pleased. Ha ha, take that, you greasy douche. One step closer to being first in Rochelle's affection.

"That biker's still sexier than you."

Oh _goddamnit._

* * *

Hey look, I'm starting something else I probably won't finish. Hooray!

I have no clue how long this will be, either. I was planning on it being a one shot and then I found myself with 18 pages at 2 in the morning, so...that went well.

Also Nick/Rochelle is my favorite L4D couple. 3


	2. Transition

Rochelle had been lying against him for at least fifteen minutes now, bouncing every now and then whenever the car hit a bump.

Nick had been listening to her soft breathing for at least twenty minutes now, afraid to move in case he woke her up. Still, it couldn't hurt, could it? After all, if she woke up, he could claim he was just stretching or brushing something off her shoulder.

Slowly and carefully, Nick raised his left arm and began to put it around her shoulders. He happened to look up as he was doing so, and saw Coach watching him in the rearview mirror. Nick quickly retracted his arm and roughly elbowed Rochelle awake.

"OW! What was that for?" she asked angrily, rubbing her side.

"You were hurting my arm," he snapped, making a show of rubbing it.

"Sor-_ry_, Nick. You want some hand sanitizer?" she said sarcastically, shaking her head at him. "I know how much you like your space. If I had been awake, I wouldn't have been anywhere near you."

"Good," he muttered, folding his arms and glaring out the window. Damn Coach for ruining everything.

Coach just smiled.

"What's so funny, Coach?" Ellis asked, glancing at him and then back at the road.

"Just the way some people are," Coach replied, shaking his head.

Nick was disappointed half an hour later when Rochelle fell asleep. Not once did she lean against him. He told himself the disappointment was superficial, he didn't _really_ care one way or the other whether she was on him or not. Truth be told her head _had_ been heavy, and if she had continued lying on him his shoulder probably would have gotten very sore. So waking her had been in his best interests. So there. He didn't care.


	3. Dark Carnival Part One

Dude, this was waaaay longer than I planned. I apologize for any OOCness in the past, present, or future.

* * *

"Sorry, folks. This car's capable of miracles, but it can't drive over thirty miles of parked cars," Ellis apologized.

"Goddamn you, Jimmy Gibbs, Jr.!" Nick cursed.

"Now that was just uncalled for," Ellis sulked. "Seriously."

Nick ignored him and picked up one of the guns and medkits lying behind the car. What the hell had those been doing in the trunk, anyway?

"At least Ellis was able to get us this far," Rochelle said, giving Nick a pointed look.

"Yeah, great. Here we are at the road of parked cars. Probably all with active alarms," Nick replied.

"Don't listen to him, Ellis," she said, patting the Southerner's shoulder. "He's just got piss and vinegar instead of blood in his veins."

Ellis and Coach laughed while Nick fumed.

"Excuse me for being a realist!" he snapped. "What do you want me to say, there's probably no zombies anywhere? That once we get past this scrap yard we'll be rescued and everything will go back to normal? Cuz it _won't_."

"As fun as standin' around listenin' to y'all argue is, we should probably get a move on," Coach pointed out. "Nick's right, there are probably zombies around. So let's go."

They split into groups of two; Coach and Ellis, Nick and Rochelle. Rochelle grimaced a little.

"What?" Nick asked. "Don't tell me you'd rather be with the Dixie Chicks up there."

Rochelle suppressed a smile. "At least they're friendly."

"I prefer being alert," Nick replied. "Blathering on about nothing's not only pointless, it's annoying."

"Besides," he continued, grinning slyly at her, "I'm better looking than both of them put together. So you should count yourself lucky for getting paired with me."

"Oh I am _so_ thankful," Rochelle replied.

After they had advanced for a few minutes, shooting any stray Infected and picking up a pipe bomb, a Molotov, and two bottles of puke, Rochelle spoke up again.

"Ellis is better looking than you."

Nick couldn't believe his ears at first. "What?"

"I said Ellis is better looking than you."

Nick stopped walking. "You're shitting me."

She glanced over her shoulder at him, smiling. "Nope."

Nick continued walking, hurrying to catch up. "There's no way you're serious. That yokel? Every goddamn thing he sees reminds him of that hick friend of his, Keef!"

"You mean Keith?" Ellis corrected from up ahead, turning around eagerly. "You know, this does sorta remind me of something that happened. Y'see, Keith wanted to test drive this new car he got, so-"

"Oh God, there he goes again," Nick groaned.

"At least he has friends," Rochelle smirked.

"Oh what, you think I don't have friends?"

"They're probably all gang members," Rochelle mused. "Or gambling addicts. Or alcoholics. Or any combination of the three."

"Oh ha ha ha, very funny. Seriously though, Ro, " he continued, "that goddamn kid'd probably start yammering on about Keith when the two of you were goin' at it in bed. Don't give me that look, you know he would."

Rochelle had tried very hard to look mad, but burst out giggling. Nick grinned at her.

"He is cute, though," she said seriously. Nick stopped grinning.

"Oh bullshit," he replied. "Who are you going to think is cute next, Coach? Or God forbid, Jimmy Gibbs?"

"Maybe."

"Oh come on, Ro, you tellin' me that your type is everyone but me?"

She didn't reply, but she gave him a look he didn't like.

"Man, whatever. You don't know what you're missing. And once you find out, you'll come crawling and begging for a piece of this."

"My Lord, did anyone ever tell you how modest you are?"

"It's all part of my charm."

"Well I think it's someone else's turn to deal with your charm," she replied, and tapped Coach on the shoulder.

"What is it, baby girl?" the older man asked.

"Can I switch with you? My partner's exercising his usual 'charm'."

"Sure thing," Coach replied, falling into step next to Nick.

Nick watched her run up beside Ellis. That angry feeling came back. Not jealousy, but wounded ego.

"You should be nicer," Coach advised.

"You should be thinner," Nick shot back without thinking. He winced, but Coach just laughed.

"Well, you know what an irresistible temptress chocolate can be."

Nick grinned at him and then watched Rochelle and Ellis. Apparently HeeHaw was reminded of Keef again (surprise surprise), since he was yammering animatedly to Rochelle. Nick saw Rochelle look back at him with a grimace. He smiled and gave her two thumbs up. After all, it had been her decision. She shook her head at him and turned back to Ellis. Ha, at least she was suffering. She'd come back to him in no time.

But she didn't. By the time they'd reached the motel, she was still with that redneck. And she hadn't looked back at Nick again.

He followed behind her as she searched an empty room.

"Not so cute when he starts talking, is he?" Nick smirked.

She turned around with her hands on her hips. "As a matter of fact, it just makes him cuter."

"Oh does it?" Nick asked innocently. "Then what was that grimace of despair you gave me?"

"I was…just…"

"Uh huh," Nick grinned, straightening up and folding his arms in triumph.

"Oh whatever," she huffed. "Not like I need you or any-"

A long, thin muscular tongue wrapped around her and immediately started dragging her out the window.

"_Shit, _Rochelle!" Nick yelled, grabbing her axe and running after her.

"_Help!_" she screamed. "_Nick_!"

The Smoker pulled her off the second floor and onto the ground. Nick jumped off without thinking, too focused on trying to catch up to notice the pain in his ankles as he landed. She was yanked up over a chainlink fence, and Nick climbed over that as well.

_Holy shit this is reckless_, the rational part of his mind said.

_FUCK GET HER SAVE ROCHELLE YOU FUCKING MORON HURRY THE FUCK UP BEFORE THAT THING MAULS HER RUN FASTER YOU JACKASS, _the less rational but more demanding part screamed.

There, he could see that gangly fucker. With a burst of speed he ran toward the cancerous thing and swung the axe. It burst into a big cloud of suffocating smoke, and the two of them immediately started hacking and wheezing. He pulled her to her feet and they stumbled out of the cloud.

"Did you jump off of the second story?" Rochelle asked once they could breathe again.

"Of course not, I took the stairs." No need for her to know how panicked he'd been.

"Must've taken 'em awfully fast to have caught up as quick as you did," she said doubtfully, then grinned mischievously. "You could have fallen and broken a hip, old man."

"I wouldn't look half as embarrassing as you did kicking and flailing while that thing had you," he replied, smirking. "If I recall correctly, you were also screaming my name."

She frowned at him. "Must've slipped up. I meant to yell for Ellis. He probably could've saved me in half the time you did."

"We could wait around, see if another one grabs you," he suggested. "Put it to the test."

"Nah, I'm good," she said quickly.

"Don't worry, the next time you get snagged by a Smoker, I'll toss Ellis off the second floor. Give him a little boost."

"You're so compassionate, Nick."

"Aren't I, though?"

"You ok, Ro?" Ellis's worried voice came to them from one of the rooms on the ground floor.

"Yeah, I'm fine, sweetie," Rochelle called back. "Nick killed it."

She nudged him. "Come on, we should stick with the others."

He held her axe out. She grabbed it from him and ran off towards the motel. Halfway there, she stopped and looked back at him hesitantly.

"Thanks," she said finally.

Nick shrugged. "That's what I'm here for."

She smiled a little before turning back and running the rest of the way. Nick watched her for a moment before hurrying after her.

They found an adrenaline shot (which of course Ellis snatched up; Nick wondered if the kid had an addiction), two bottles of pills, a chainsaw (Coach took this despite Nick's reminder that it had a finite supply of gas and that the noise alone would bring about a million zombies down on their sorry asses), and a crowbar. Nick took this last item.

"Crates beware," Rochelle teased him.

"I am going to crack some heads with this!" Nick declared.

Outside, a Hunter growled.

"That sounds like an opportunity to test it out," Rochelle said, looking at him.

Nick hesitated. Hunters were fast and could pin you in an instant if you didn't manage to interrupt their pounce.

Rochelle smirked and cocked an eyebrow, her hands on her hips.

"Go on, fancy man," she challenged.

That did it. Nick kicked the door open and swaggered outside.

"Come on out, you little bastard," he called, spinning in a circle.

It growled again, a little louder. It must have been around the corner. Nick gripped the crowbar with both hands and readied himself.

"You stupid hoodie-wearing-"

The Hunter let out its familiar scream as it pounced on Nick from behind and knocked him flat on his face. The crowbar went skittering a few feet away.

"GODDAMNIT YOU GODDAMN CHEATING BASTARD GET THE FUCK OFF ME-"

Nick tried to elbow the monster in the face but it paid no attention and continued to claw violently at his back.

"COULD USE SOME HELP HERE!" Nick shouted angrily.

Rochelle knocked it off him and Ellis shot it dead. Rochelle offered him her hand, but Nick ignored it and climbed to his feet by himself, dusting himself off.

"So how'd that work out for you?" she asked amusedly, pointing at the crowbar lying a few feet away from him.

He bent and picked it up before taking his jacket off and looking at the damage.

"Great," he complained. "Now half of my jacket looks like it went through a paper shredder."

"Ignoring me, huh?"

"Hey, you saw what happened. It clearly cheated."

"What, because it snuck up on you from behind? It was being pretty loud, you could have looked around."

"It _sounded _like it was coming from around the side of the building," Nick snapped, pointing in that direction. "So _naturally_-"

"It's ok, Nick, we all get into trouble at one point or another. Better a Hunter than a Tank."

"Or a Witch," Nick winced.

"You ok, Nick?" Coach asked. "Need one of medkits?"

"Nah, I'm fine," he replied, putting his jacket back on. "I think we should keep going, we've taken all we can from here."

They headed down the stairs towards the steep hill with Coach and Ellis in front. Rochelle started giggling softly.

"What?" Nick whispered.

She giggled harder for a moment before answering.

"You just never even saw him _coming_! Just WHAM! and you were on your face. _Oh_, it was great."

"Oh shut up, Miss Got-Dragged-Out-A-Window-And-Halfway-Across-The-Fucking-Parking-Lot."

"Everybody, quiet!" Ellis whispered warningly from up ahead. "I hear a Witch!"

The whole group immediately shut their flashlights off. Nick spotted the crying girl up ahead on a lower part of the hill, next to a lantern and two pipe bombs. None of that stuff was worth the risk of provoking her. And just what the hell was she doing next to a goddamn _lantern_, for Christ's sake? The bitch went batshit from their dinky flashlights, and yet here it was practically bathed in the light of the lantern. Whatever. What-the-fuck-ever.

"Let's slide down, people," Coach whispered. "Be careful!"

Nick took a careful step and then tumbled head over heels down the entire hill, landing dazed and sprawled on his back at the bottom.

"What just happened?" he murmured in confusion.

He heard Rochelle shrieking just before she painfully knocked into him.

"Ouch!"

"Sorry, Nick!"

"Shit, you call that careful?"

"It was steeper than I thought, ok?"

"Get up, you two," Coach called. "We have to go through this water and up the hill to reach Whispering Oaks."

"Yay," Nick and Rochelle said at the same time. They looked at each other in surprise.

"Jinx, owe me a Coke!" Rochelle declared, grinning at him.

"Yeah, I'll be sure to keep an eye out for one, since they're just lying around out in the open by the crateful."

"Guys, you won't even believe how much fun it's gonna be!" Ellis said excitedly. "Oh man, the Screamin' Oak, _Kiddieland-_"

"Let's just get there first, ok son?" Coach replied.

"Arright. Let's go!"

The kid took off across the water, jumping onto a car and then wading over to the opposite shore. He waited for them at the bottom of the steep slope, whacking any Infected who ran toward him with his cricket bat.

"C'mon, hurry up!"

"That kid's enthusiasm is aggravating," Nick complained, sloshing through the water and ruining his suit even more. At least nothing could be as bad as that sewer. _Nothing_.

"I think it's sweet that he has something to look forward to," Rochelle replied.

"_I_ look forward to getting the hell out of this goddamned place," Nick declared.

"And I cannot _wait_ to make some cotton candy!" Coach cried, shooting a screaming Infected who came running at him.

The three reached the other side and dispatched the remaining Infected before starting up the slope.

"Shit, I hate this," Coach panted after a few seconds. "Why is everything so steep?"

"They just find your weakness and keep throwin' it at you, Coach," Nick declared. The sound of a Jockey cackling came from somewhere nearby. "_Of_ course."

The group hurried up to the top of the hill, where more Infected waited for them. The familiar sign of a safe house was spray painted up ahead.

"Good, we're almost there," Coach said happily.

The Jockey jumped onto Ellis and started dragging him back down the hill.

"OH YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" Ellis shouted angrily, trying to fight against it.

Rochelle and Nick ran after him, shooting at the erratically moving creature. They managed to kill it after several seconds, and Ellis sprinted back up the hill.

"Thanks, guys," he said.

"No problem," Nick replied. "How's your face feel?"

"Gross." Ellis made a face at him and joined Coach.

"Guys? Could use some help over here!" Coach shouted. The Infected had heard all the commotion and had swarmed around Coach.

The other three used their melee weapons to knock the zombies away from Coach. As they got ready to dig in and kill every Infected in sight, the roar of a Tank echoed through the air.

"Oh shit shit shit!" Ellis cursed, looking around wildly.

"Where is it? Where is it?" Rochelle whispered, also looking around frantically.

"Think we can make it to the safe room?" Nick asked.

Coach shook his head. "Not with all these Infected around to slow us down."

Nick thought for a moment as the sound of the Tank grew nearer and the ground started to tremble. "I have an idea. You three make a break for it, and I'll handle the Tank and join you."

"Boy, have you lost your mind?" Coach yelled. "You'll get your dumb ass killed!"

"No, I know what I'm doing!" Nick insisted.

Rochelle snorted. "Like you knew what you were doing with that Hunter?"

"Ro, if I can't see a _Tank_ coming at me, I de-_serve_ to die. Now hurry up and head to the safe room."

Nick took out the Bile Bomb and prepared to throw it. He knocked back the Infected who ran at him and waited. Soon enough, the Tank came galloping around the corner, heading straight at him. Nick hurled the puke at him and then hauled ass after the other three to the safe room. The Tank tried to give chase, but the Infected swarmed around it, attacking the Boomer-scented Tank. It had to stop and swat at the zombies, and Nick easily made it to the safe room.

"See?" he declared, shutting the metal door behind him. "No sweat."

They all listened as the outside sounds slowly faded away. An occasional noise from one of the Infected was all that could be heard.

"You can thank me any time," Nick said.

"Good job, Nick!" Ellis piped up. "Only I thought you were gonna kill it, not pukeify it."

"Well it got the job done, ok?"

"Thanks, Nick," Coach said, bandaging himself up. "Good idea you had."

Nick looked expectantly at Ro, who fidgeted and looked away for a while.

"Good job," she muttered grudgingly.

"Oh come on," he said, sitting beside her, "I want my ass kissed a little more."

"Too bad."

She reloaded her weapon and picked up some more ammo for it. She leaned back against the wall and stared off into space, thinking. Then she smiled and gave Nick a brief sideways glance.

"Hey Ellis," she called. "Think you could have taken that Tank?"

"_Hell_ yeah!" the youth declared confidently. "I woulda beat the _tar _outta that thing! With my bare hands, too!"

Nick looked annoyed. "We can open the door if you really want to prove it. I'm sure it's still out there."

Rochelle elbowed him. "Nick, shut up, Ellis probably would."

"God, you're right. Nevermind, Ellis, I bet it's off somewhere pissing its pants in frustration. You'd never find it."

"Wanna bet?"

"Well…" Rochelle elbowed him again. "No."

"Stop elbowing me," he hissed to her once Ellis's attention was elsewhere. "Your boyfriend doesn't need you standing up for him."

"With you always goading him, he does," she replied.

Nick snorted. "Not my fault he's always ready to incapacitate himself."

A brief silence fell over the group.

"Who wants to take the first watch?" Coach asked.

"I will," Nick said, getting up.

"Me too," Rochelle added, following him.

Nick stared at her. "Why don't you cuddle with your boyfriend? He'd probably wet himself with joy."

Rochelle wrinkled her nose at him. "You're such a romantic."

"Sweetheart, you have no idea."

"I'm sure."

Coach and Ellis found two sleeping bags and dragged them into a corner of the room. After a few minutes, the sound of snoring filled the room.

"Looks like it's just you and me," Nick said, smirking and raising an eyebrow.

"It's gonna be just you if you don't knock it off," Rochelle replied.

"Jeez, the one attractive guy who tries to hit on you and you just push him away." Nick looked out through the metal bars of the door, making sure no Infected tried to force their way inside.

After about twenty minutes, he spoke up again.

"I think I know why that Smoker went after you," he said.

"Why's that?" Rochelle sounded like she had been drifting off.

"It's those big hoop earrings you wear," he replied. "They probably jiggled enough to catch its attention. Not really a surprise, if you think about it."

"Yeah, right," she said, shaking her head. After a moment, she added, "Anyway, they're staying on, no matter what. Jacob gave them to me."

"Oh goddamnit, now who is _Jacob_?" Nick demanded. "Is he one of those 'cute' guys?"

"He was my boyfriend. Before, you know…" she waved her hand to indicate the apocalypse they were in. "…all of this."

"I see."

"I was supposed to go with him to California, but I wanted to stay here. I thought that with all these people at work calling in sick, I would have a good chance of getting a promotion. They sent me here to cover the green flu, and…well…I was stuck straight in the center of this."

"Think he's still alive?" Nick asked.

"Who?"

"Jacob."

"Oh. I don't know. I hope so, I guess."

"You _guess_? That doesn't sound very optimistic."

"I _do_ hope he's all right. No one should have to be subjected to this. If he isn't alive, then I hope he's not Infected."

Nick grunted.

"How about you?" Rochelle looked over at him. "Didn't you have an ex-wife or something?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Do you think she's alive?"

"I don't care."

"Oh come on, Nick, you're not that cold."

"Trust me, when it comes to her, I am. I wouldn't be surprised if we come across her as a Witch one of these days. If we do, dibs on shooting her."

Rochelle laughed at him. "OK, she's all yours."

They were both silent as they stared through the bars. The night seemed to go on forever. Nick looked over at Rochelle and saw that she staring at the ground and smiling.

"What are you thinking about that's got you smiling like that?" he asked. "Jacob?"

"No," she laughed, blushing a little. She met his eyes. "I was thinking about all those nice things that biker said to me."

Nick felt his lips instantly curl down into a tight frown. Goddamn that greasy bald pig and his goddamn nerve. And here came that angry feeling. His poor wounded ego.

"You should probably get some sleep," he said stiffly. "I'll wake Coach up in a while."

"OK," she replied, standing up and stretching. "See you."

She went to the corner opposite Coach and Ellis and started to lay down.

"What the hell are you doing?" Nick demanded, watching her.

"I'm…going to sleep," she replied, looking at him like he was crazy.

He gave her the same look. "It's cold as shit out. Get a blanket."

"There are no blankets, Suit."

"Did you check the bathroom?"

She sighed loudly. "No."

She got up and went into the bathroom, opening the doors of the sink. Two towels were there. She picked them up and returned to the main room.

"Happy?" she asked, waving them at him.

Nick shrugged. "I'm not giving you mouth to mouth if you get sick and pass out."

She smirked at him. "You totally would."

He grinned wolfishly. "Now who needs to knock it off?"

"Nick, there are only two live and uninfected women on the planet. Just shut up and be grateful."

"I don't know, I think I saw the Spitter making eyes at me…"

Rochelle burst out laughing and Nick was startled into a chuckle. She folded one of the towels into a pillow, and then covered her upper half with the other.

"Good night, Suit," she muttered.

Nick waited until he heard her breathing slowly and rhythmically. He snuck a glance at Coach and Ellis. Yep, those two were making more noise than a Tank. The coast was clear.

He slipped off his partially shredded jacket, crept over to Rochelle, draped it over her lower half, and crept back to his chair. Yes, totally ninja. Now he just had to take his jacket back before he woke up Coach. Nick turned his back on the three slumbering members of his group, feeling smug.

Coach closed his eye and went back to sleep, smirking.


	4. Dark Carnival Part Two

Someone was kicking him.

"Nick, get up, it's time to go."

Nick groaned and stretched, rubbing at his eyes. He ran a hand over the stubble on his face.

"Already?" he complained, looking up at Coach. "I hardly got any sleep!"

"Nick, you got plenty-a sleep," Ellis said. "You were out fer eight hours, at least."

"Oh yeah? Then why is it still dark out?" Nick demanded, pointing at the night sky.

Ellis shrugged. "'s been like that fer a while now. Hasn't changed a bit."

"Great," Nick muttered, getting to his feet and dusting his clothes off. "Wandering through a zombie-infested amusement park at night. Sounds _fan_-tastic."

"Come on, Grandpa Nick, don't be like that," Rochelle teased, her axe resting over her shoulder. "It could be fun, once we take care of the zombies."

"Yeah, it'll be a blast, Ellis can win you prizes and everything!" Nick replied sarcastically. "Won't that be a hoot, Ellis? Sounds like a fine good time!"

"Sure does!" Ellis agreed enthusiastically, completely missing Nick's sarcasm.

"Ok," Nick announced as Ellis kicked open the safe room door and hurried out into the park on his own, "I would just like to say that I am _not_ keeping an eye on him. I hate babysitting."

"He's just excited, Nick," Rochelle explained as the rest of the group followed after Ellis. "He really likes this place."

"If this is the most exciting thing Savannah has to offer, then just shoot me now," Nick replied.

"Man, just give Whispering Oaks a chance, Nick," Coach insisted. "I know it's deserted, but you might find something to enjoy."

"I really doubt they have slot machines in amusement parks, Coach."

Coach laughed. "There's a Tunnel of Love. Probably broken, but still."

"What, you want me to share a boat with you or something? I don't think there'd be enough room."

"Shut up and get yo' ass movin', Nicolas!"

"Tunnel of Love, huh?" Rochelle spoke up. "In my neighborhood, all we had was the Underpass of Unwanted Advances."

Coach and Nick chuckled.

"Bet you were there a lot," Nick said, smirking. "Driving those greasy cue ball bikers wild."

"_Oh_ yeah, you know me," Rochelle laughed. "Just getting it twenty-"

"Guys, hurry up!" Ellis pleaded. He was bouncing anxiously in front of a shooting range.

"Come on, before he pees," Nick said, and the three jogged over to him.

"Ok, you three cover me while I shoot these here targets," Ellis instructed, picking up his machine gun.

"_What?_" Nick said incredulously.

"Let the boy have his fun, it's probably the last chance he'll get," Coach told him.

"This is some bullshit. Pint-size gets to play games while we're fighting for our lives?"

"If I win sumthin', I'll give it to you, Ro," Ellis called over his shoulder as he pressed the button to begin the game.

"Only if it's a stuffed animal," she replied. "I don't like those tacky things you get sometimes."

"Right, stuffed animals aren't tacky," Nick commented, rolling his eyes.

"Arright, Ro, wish me luck!" Ellis crowed as the targets began to whiz by. "Not like I need it or anythin'."

Rochelle giggled but grew serious as a Horde swarmed toward them. The three of them used their melee weapons to dispatch the multiple Infected as the game's music blared across the empty park, adding a soundtrack that didn't fit at all. As Ellis carefully hit target after target, wracking up points, Nick maneuvered so he was right behind the boy and elbowed him in the back.

"Ow!"

"Oops, sorry, Ellis. Dang recoil."

"Nick, yer usin' a crowbar."

"…it threw me off balance."

"Uh huh."

The game buzzed to an end as the last few Infected were taken care of. Everyone looked over in surprise as a loud victory chord played and Ellis's score flashed. A small red metal box that no one had noticed swung open. Ellis dashed over to view his prize and the rest of the group trailed after him.

_Please let it be the ugliest thing Ro's ever seen,_ Nick thought. _Let it be so hideous that she just spews all over the ground in disgust._

Ellis let out a cry of joy, and Nick's heart sank.

"Guys, you won't believe this! Look what I won!" he exclaimed, holding up his prize.

It was hideous. _And_ it was tacky. Nick snuck a glance at Ro and saw that she was trying not to grimace at it.

"It's…something, all right," she said finally.

"It's Gnome Chomski!" Ellis laughed.

"I don't know which is worse, the fact that the hideous lawn gnome has an actual _name_, or that you _know_ what its name is," Nick said, shaking his head. "No, wait, you knowing its name is _definitely_ worse."

"This is probably the last one left on the entire planet," Ellis declared, clutching it possessively. "I gotta have it. Sorry, Ro."

Rochelle started to grin broadly in relief, then remembered herself and tried to look disappointed. "I understand, Ellis."

Coach laughed. "Boy, that'll be worth a _shit_load-a money one day, when the world's not full-a zombies."

Ellis clutched the gnome tighter to his body and stared at Coach in horror.

"I wouldn't _sell_ this!" he cried. "This is a object-a sentiment, now!"

"What, so it's comin' with us?" Nick asked.

"Yup," Ellis nodded, walking ahead.

"Great," Nick sighed in irritation. "Now only three of us are going to be armed."

"We can handle it," Coach replied, sounding confident.

They picked up some ammo from a stack that was sitting on a nearby picnic table (Nick didn't know how it got there and didn't really care at the moment). Two guns rested next to the pile, and Nick swapped his machine gun for a sniper rifle before moving on.

Past a lot of deserted food stalls ("These signs are makin' me hungry," Coach complained) and through a storage area, they arrived at a cotton candy booth.

"Look, guys! _Kiddieland!_" Ellis shouted hysterically, running toward the sign. He was still clutching the gnome as if it were his newborn child.

"Sometimes it feels like we're babysitting, don't it?" Coach said to Rochelle. She nodded.

"Well, I'm glad we made it…oh, what the hell…YEAH, KIDDIELAND!" she shouted, punching a fist in the air.

"No, no no no no no," Nick interrupted, putting a hand over her mouth. "We do _not_ need another Ellis."

"Lighten up, fancy man," she laughed. "I was just trying to boost our mood."

"Well you're encouraging him, don't do that," Nick replied. "He's bad enough as it is. I'm sure he only gets worse with some attention."

"Hey, Ellis!" Coach called. "They have a cotton candy machine over here!"

"_What_?" Ellis yelled, sprinting back to the rest of the group. "They have a god dang _cotton candy machine _right outside _Kiddieland_!? Ar-RIGHT! Fire it up, Coach!"

"Oh hell no," Nick began immediately. "That thing'll make a lotta noise, and-"

"Oh hell _yes_," Coach cut him off, switching the machine on.

It rumbled to life and began whirring. Coach and Ellis conferred with each other and poked around until finally some pink wisps began to form. Nick looked through the scope on his rifle and picked off the Infected in the distance. There were quite a few. His clip ran out, and he reached for another, only to have one handed to him. He looked down.

"Here, gramps," Rochelle smiled. "Cotton candy'll probably taste like poison to you, anyway."

"Damn right," he muttered, but he sort of wanted some. "Anyway, no time for that sugary garbage. I'm the only one keeping a lookout so we don't get ambushed."

A Spitter trilled somewhere. Everyone looked around.

"Oh man, keep her away from the cotton candy!" Ellis warned. "She will ruin the _shit_ out of it!"

Nick spotted her by one of the kiddie rides off in the distance. He lined up the shot and pulled the trigger. Her grotesque corpse fell backwards, the acid puddle underneath her clearly visible even this far away.

"Good job, Nick!" Coach praised. "Here. You get the first."

Nick made a face as Coach handed the spun sugar to him. "Thanks."

"I'd better share it with you," Rochelle said, stealing a piece. "You look like you won't enjoy it."

"Oh aren't you selfless?" Nick smirked.

"Of course! I'm just looking out for you!" she replied, smiling.

Nick tore off about half of the cotton candy and then held the cone out to her.

"No thanks, it tastes much better when it's stolen," she explained.

"Ro, we did steal it. We just made some and are eating it without paying for it," he pointed out.

"No, I mean-"

"_Oh, _you mean only the cotton candy I want for _myself_ tastes good," he teased.

"Exactly."

"Too bad, take this."

"Fine."

"Mm-MM! Cotton candy, you are the _king_ of foods!" Coach declared, happily devouring it.

"My God, nothing'll ever taste as good as this," Ellis agreed.

Coach made Ellis and himself another serving each, and then turned off the machine. Nick looked at his sticky hands unhappily.

"This is the part I always hate," he muttered to himself.

He looked at Rochelle, who was wiping her hands on her jeans.

"Hey, Ro."

She looked up at him.

He grinned and raised his hands. "Wanna lick my fingers clean?"

"_Ugh_," she groaned, looking sick. "Nick, you've been barfed on, drenched in sewer water, and you've touched countless germ-y things. No way in _hell_ that's happening."

He just laughed at her and headed back into the storage place they had been through. He located a sink in one of the back rooms and cleaned his hands. On his way out, something lying on the floor in one of the rooms caught his eye.

"Hey look, this was made for you," Nick said to Rochelle, holding up a pink stuffed elephant. "It's pink, like your shirt."

"Why does that mean it was _made_ for me?" she asked. "I think it's better for you. Aren't pink elephants what you see after you drink too much?"

"That was in Dumbo."

"So?"

"Oh man, I love that movie!" Ellis cried, clutching his precious gnome again. "That song gave me nightmares, though. This one time--oh wait, Kiddieland!"

Nick sighed and dropped the elephant to the ground. "I thought chicks liked this shit."

Rochelle shrugged and hurried after Ellis. Nick and Coach brought up the rear. They had just passed under the Kiddieland sign and begun to head towards a safe house sign when an angry roar alerted them to a Tank. The ground began to quake immediately as the beast thundered toward them.

"_It's wreckin' the rides!_" Ellis screamed.

"Boy, there's no time for that! Just shoot it!" Coach yelled.

The four split up and headed in different directions as the Tank gave chase, focusing on Ellis. Nick spotted a Molotov nearby and picked it up, tossing it at the Tank. It burst on impact and lit the behemoth up, which only seemed to make it move faster.

"Oh great goddamn job, Nick!" Ellis yelled angrily, squeezing Gnome Chomski to his breast and running for his life. "You only made it go faster!"

"We're trying to kill it, all right?" Nick yelled back.

The Tank switched its focus onto Nick, who immediately ran backwards while trying to reload.

"_Shitshitshitshit_!" he cursed, fumbling with his weapon.

The Tank quickly caught up and backhanded him, sending Nick flying into one of the rides.

"AGGH!" he screamed as he landed on his back, temporarily winded. He shook himself and clambered back up to his feet as the Tank began to reach backhanding range again.

Before it could take another swing, it slowly fell forward, dead. Rochelle smiled and reloaded her gun.

"Nice shot, Ace!" Nick praised, dusting the front of his suit off.

"That Molotov helped," she shrugged modestly, but she looked proud.

"Here, Nick, take my pills," Ellis said, shoving them into Nick's hands. "I need to shed some equipment anyway."

"So you can run faster?" Nick snorted. "I can't believe you didn't let go of that thing when we were fighting a _Tank_."

"Not even a _Witch_ could come between me and this gnome, Nick."

The sound of a Witch crying was suddenly heard.

"That's it, Ellis is cursed," Nick declared.

Coach dealt with the Witch by sneaking up and chainsawing it from behind ("Now _that_ is how you do it!" Nick declared) and they entered a building with some ammo, guns, a medical cabinet, some stairs, and a ladder leading to the roof. Ellis and Nick took some extra pills and everyone took more ammo.

"Guess we're going up top," Rochelle said, staring up at the ladder.

"Be careful," Coach warned. "There could be zombies up there."

Rochelle climbed up first, followed by Nick, then Ellis, and finally Coach. There were a few stragglers on the roof, but Nick easily picked them off. A Charger's unintelligible mutterings came from somewhere down on the ground below. The group carefully climbed to the top of a giant slide and looked down. The Charger charged up the stairs and grabbed Ellis, scattering the rest of them. It began slamming him repeatedly into the ground. Gnome Chomski rolled to a stop at Nick's feet, and the gambler was tempted to punt it down the slide. Instead, Rochelle and he swung away with their axe and crowbar and soon killed the Charger. Ellis scrambled to his feet.

"Oh mah gawd, oh mah gawd, where it is?" he asked, looking around everywhere.

Rochelle picked up the ugly gnome and held it out to him. "This?"

"No, damnit, Rochelle, throw it down the slide!" Nick whispered.

"Ro, I can't thank you enough!" Ellis cried, happily taking it from her. "I thought I'd lost it!"

"If only we were so lucky," Nick sighed.

"Come on, y'all, I see another safe house sign," Coach said, pointing to some stairs.

They hurried to the stairs and past a room with some ammo and another med cabinet. A carousel lay below them, but unless they turned on the power and started it, their path to the safe house was blocked. They shot the Infected down below and jumped down.

"A fenced-in carousel? Is this where they took child prisoners on day trips?" Nick asked sarcastically, looking at the carousel.

"_I _like it," Ellis said.

"Uh oh," Nick continued, ignoring Ellis. "Rochelle, I've got some bad news."

"What?" she asked, walking over to see what he was looking at.

It was a height sign with Mr. Peanut (Nick did _not_ like that little peanut man) that said anyone fewer than forty-eight inches was not allowed on the ride.

"Sorry, Ro, you gotta be this tall to ride. It was nice knowin' ya," he grinned.

"Ha ha, funny guy," she said, rolling her eyes.

"We're gonna have to turn this on if we want to continue," Coach noted.

"I bet it'll make a shit-ton of noise, too," Nick added.

"You guys ready?" Coach asked. "We'll have to haul ass to the safe house without stopping."

Everyone nodded that they were ready to run, and Coach turned it on.

"Here they come!" Nick yelled as the Horde screamed.

The gate slowly slid open in an absolutely _painful_ way. Nick wanted to shove it the fuck out of the way and get going, but no, it was taking its sweet time. Goddamn shithole amusement park rides. Thankfully no Infected had neared them yet.

When the gate had opened just enough for Nick to force himself through, he did just that and took off running for the safe house, swinging his crowbar at any incoming Infected.

"Safe house up ahead in the Tunnel of Love!" Coach yelled.

"Tunnel of _Love_? Jesus Christ!" Nick complained, sprinting towards it.

He made it first, followed a short while later by Ellis, and then Coach. Rochelle had been swarmed by the seemingly never ending amount of Infected rushing from all directions. At least twenty were punching and kicking at her, and she was on the ground in no time.

Nick held his hand out to Coach. "Give me the chainsaw."

Coach handed it over and watched as Nick fired it up. "I'll give you cover fire."

Nick ran towards the crowd Rochelle was engulfed in, swinging the chainsaw back and forth in front of himself as he charged (wouldn't it just be too awful if he tripped and landed on the blade before he even got to her? He tried not to think about it). He cut easily through the Horde and, reaching down, grabbed Rochelle's hand. He yanked up, but she was slow in getting to her feet.

"Come on, come on, we don't have time for this, get up!" he urged.

When she was standing he put her arm across his shoulders and half-carried, half-ran with her to the safe room. Coach slammed the door behind them as more Infected appeared and gave chase. Nick and Rochelle collapsed onto the floor, panting.

"You sure had us worried there, Ro," Ellis said nervously.

"You ok, Ro?" Coach asked, looking concerned.

She waved her hand at him. "I'm fine."

Nick looked at her doubtfully. She had taken too long to stand up to be "fine".

"You sure?" Coach pressed.

She nodded.

"All right. I'll take first watch. You guys get some sleep," Coach instructed.

Ellis carefully set down his gnome and then lay down beside it, quickly falling asleep. Rochelle looked over at Nick, who was still looking at her.

"What?" she said, uncomfortable.

Nick stood up and picked up one of the medkits on the table before sitting back down next to her.

"Let Doctor Nick patch you up," Nick told her, taking out gauze.

"You make one joke about your bedside manner and I'm kicking your ass," Rochelle warned.

"Fine, fine," Nick agreed, adding in a lower voice, "Spoilsport."

Rochelle, like the rest of them, had what seemed to be permanent battle scars. While Nick had a cut on his forehead and two near his shoulder bone, she had a large purple bruise on her upper arm that refused to fade. Nick wondered how she got it. The scrape on her cheek seemed to be permanent, too. He couldn't help but worry sometimes. She was so _tiny_.

He remembered how he had freaked the fuck _out_ the first time a Charger grabbed her, although he rationalized it all away later. Seeing that lopsided monstrosity slamming her body into the ground over and over had sent him into a near-blind panic. He had swung and flailed at the thing until it keeled over dead and then he had knelt next to her, thinking she was dead for sure, pounded into oblivion. But she had just sat up, shaken and a little scared, but in one piece. And alive. She had even laughed and made some stupid joke while Nick just stood there staring in numb relief. That was when he realized she was a helluva lot tougher than she looked. Still, the worry remained.

Nick finished applying the last piece of gauze and Rochelle leaned back and laid her head against the wall, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Much better," she muttered.

They sat next to each other quietly until Rochelle looked over at him with a smirk.

"You better not try anything once we're out there in the Tunnel of Love, Nick," she warned. "I'm still infatuated with that Francis guy."

Nick coolly looked back at her. "What made you think I was going to?"

She looked a little bit disappointed. "You usually do. And you had this funny look on your face, like you were thinking of something."

"Oh, I was thinking of something, all right," Nick replied, smiling.

"Yeah?" she grinned. "What?"

"That chick, Zoey. God_damn_ she was fine!"

Rochelle's grin immediately disappeared and she scowled at him. "She's way out of your league."

"I dunno, she didn't go for Ellis, so I'm her only other choice!"

"I guess you're not counting Louis or Francis, then."

"Rochelle, please. Like you have to ask."

"So tell me, what's it like being so arrogant all the time?"

"What can I say? I'm a handsome man."

Rochelle rolled her eyes and got up. "I'm going to sleep."

She lay down next to Ellis, who sleepily turned over and slung an arm over her. She closed her eyes without even bothering to move Ellis's arm. No worries, Nick would do it for her. Ro cuddled in a little more and then fell asleep. Nick felt that wounded pride feeling bubbling up and scowled. Nevermind, he would just tear that kid's goddamn arm right off instead.

Coach laughed from his post by the door, startling Nick out of his thoughts.

"What?" he asked.

"That girl is messin' up yo' pokerface somethin' awful!" Coach said, grinning and shaking his head.

"_Whatever_." Nick felt his face burning a little. "I'm going to sleep."

_I have a goddamn good pokerface, _he thought as he drifted off. _Coach is just high on that cotton candy. NO ONE knows what I'm thinking. I'm just that good…_

Finally, the three were asleep. Rochelle turned over, and Ellis's arm slipped off her and fell to the floor.

* * *

Holy shit, another two chapters written. I need to edit the most recent one, though, I don't like the dialogue after a certain point.

Also I'm noticing that there is a severe lack of Infected/Horde/Special Infected attacks. That's probably because I'm more focused on writing the dialogue and trying to get to the end of the chapter. If I actually described each time a Horde/SI attacked in the game, there would be no story but the four trying to get to the safe room and the generic nice shot/safe room up ahead/I hear a Bitch dialogue. So yes, that's the reason for that.


	5. Dark Carnival Part Three

OK, I rewrote that last part. It was too serious and retarded. So. Humor to the rescue!

Also I really hope you guys like the Adrenaline part. I had a lot of fun writing it, since those thoughts are pretty much the same as mine whenever I use a shot in L4D2 on the coaster. Or just anywhere.

There might be a delay for the next two chapters, since I fail at remembering the layout of the fourth part of Dark Carnival, and I'm not sure what I'll do for the finale. I was also thinking of ending it after Dark Carnival, but then I had an idea of a transition into Swamp Fever. So...let me know what you think.

P.S. Haaaaaa now I have an excuse to play L4D2 even MORE.

* * *

Nick was not looking forward to going through a Tunnel of Love. Those crappy rides were bad enough on their own, when they didn't have zombies and assorted freaks populating them.

"All right, people, we're heading through the Tunnel of Love!" Coach announced. "No hanky panky!"

Nick gradually became aware that the other three were staring pointedly at him.

"_What_?" he snapped. "Why are you looking at _me_?"

"Well, Nick, you just sorta have that…look," Ellis explained.

"What look?" Nick demanded.

"You know," Coach tried to help awkwardly, "that…"

"That sleazy look," Rochelle finished with a smile.

He raised his eyebrows at her, and she grinned even more.

"_Sleazy_ look?" he repeated. "You people consider a three thousand dollar suit sleazy?"

"Possibly," Rochelle spoke up again. "You brag all the time about how much your suit costs. You probably just bought it to get laid."

"_And_ to look nice," Nick added. "That was important, too."

"Let's just get a move on, people," Coach interrupted. "We have a ways to go."

"Hey Ellis," Nick said as Coach opened the door. "Did you see that sign out front? Cousins-only day! You could have brought your girlfriend!"

"Ha ha."

"That was a pretty relaxing safe room," Rochelle mused as they left it behind.

Nick glanced back over his shoulder at it. "Yeah, it was pretty nice."

He noticed Rochelle was taking in the faux-romantic décor, making grimaces and other faces that indicated she was not pleased with her surroundings.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" he asked, smirking. "This isn't something from your wildest fantasies?"

She gave him a look. "If all Tunnel of Love rides are like this, I will never ride one. This isn't romantic at all, it's just ridiculous. Swan-shaped boats? Come on."

Up ahead, Coach was talking about how he had gotten plenty back when he was a football player.

"Probably on a steady diet of cheerleaders, huh, Coach?" Rochelle teased.

"Hell yeah!" he shouted back.

"He's on a steady diet of cheeseburgers now," Nick muttered to her, grinning. She shook her head at him.

"So back to the Tunnel of Love," he continued, walking beside her. "You've never been on one?"

"And I never will," she replied firmly.

"That's fine. I know a better ride, anyway."

She looked at him. "What is it?"

"You." He braced himself and laughed as she punched his arm as hard as he could. Fuck, that actually hurt.

"Jerk," she sniffed. It was too dark to see if she was genuinely angry or not.

"Wanna kiss and make up?" he offered.

"Nick, don't turn this into the Tunnel of Unwanted Advances," she replied, walking a little faster.

"Check the side rooms for supplies!" Ellis called back.

"Rooms? You mean these giant cardboard things plaguing my eyes?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, sure."

Nick checked the giant cardboard stands on the right while Rochelle took the ones on the left. He discovered a pipe bomb behind one of them and took it along.

"Hey," he called softly. Rochelle emerged from behind the stand. "Got a pipe bomb. You want it?"

"What, you tryin' to get back in my good books?" she asked.

"No. Maybe. Should I be? Look, do you want it or not?"

"I already have a jar of puke," she admitted.

"That explains it. I thought you just had shit taste in perfume."

"You just keep talking yourself into trouble, don't you?"

"You love my roguish charm. Admit it."

"I'll admit it's getting on my nerves."

Nick sighed and walked past her. "Women."

"Into the swan maintenance room of love!" Coach called back, alerting several Infected loitering around said room. The former football player blasted the babbling zombies as they sprinted towards him.

Nick started to follow Coach and Ellis into the maintenance room when he heard a splash and found himself partially soaked. He stiffly turned and looked at Rochelle, who had a look of wide-eyed innocence on her face.

"Guess the water can get pretty choppy," she shrugged, walking past him.

He stuck his leg out and she tripped and went face first into the water, getting completely soaked. He burst out laughing.

"Oops," he said unconvincingly, as she glared at him and got up.

"Quit horsing around and get in here, you two!" Coach yelled. "I thought I said no hanky panky!"

Ellis looked in Nick and Rochelle's direction with sudden interest, wondering if there was indeed some hanky panky going on. To his disappointment, he saw they were just having a splash fight. It looked pretty fun, though.

Rochelle had tried and failed to wrestle Nick under the water, so she wriggled out of his grasp and hurried over to Ellis. No point in continuing the fight if she wasn't able to win. Nick calmly swaggered after her, looking smug.

"Yer gonna catch a cold bein' all wet like that, darlin'," Ellis said, a little concerned.

"I'm sure she's used to being wet, Ellis," Nick piped up. "Especially around me."

Ellis looked confused. Rochelle looked pissed. Nick winked at her and grinned.

"Not funny," she hissed, once Ellis had gone ahead up the stairs and was out of earshot.

"Watch, I'll bet he'll ask Coach to explain what I meant," Nick whispered.

"I'm sure he _knows_, Nick," she replied. "He's not _that_ innocent."

"And just how do you know th-"

In the room upstairs, they heard: "Yeah, Nick said that. I don't get it. Rochelle's a reporter, not a swimmer. Why would she be used to bein' wet? And why around Nick?"

"Boy," Coach replied, "I don't have time to explain it to you, but the next time I see Nick I am going to _beat_ his ass."

"Wow, I didn't know Coach was your dad," Nick muttered.

She snorted and went the rest of the way up the stairs, walking along the balcony to the room Coach and Ellis were in. Nick followed, then stopped at the top of the stairs. She had paused in the doorway.

Rochelle was halfway in the dark of the maintenance room and halfway in the light of the supply room. She was looking back at him (oh Christ how could she, how _dare_ she be that pretty) for some reason. Her hair seemed to be a part of the darkness behind her. Her eyes were somber and wide, and Nick just stared back at her, not daring to breathe. Then she was gone, and he heard her saying something to Coach. He let out his breath in a big whoosh.

_Come on, man, pull it together_, he told himself. _You're thirty fuckin' five years old. You aren't susceptible to this stupid heart fluttery business. It's this goddamn Tunnel and its constant propaganda. That's all. That and you're desperate; she's the only woman you've really been around for the last two weeks. Before the apocalypse you probably couldn't even pick her out of a crowd. So just get a grip and shut it down RIGHT NOW._

Nick took another deep breath and ran a hand through his air. He felt more relaxed now, less like he was suffocating. That was good. He just needed to up the asshole factor and he'd be fine.

He continued on to the room the rest of the team was in. They were standing around a large hole in the floor, kicking down the Infected who tried to climb up.

"Took you long enough to join us, Nicolas!" Coach scolded, turning around when he heard Nick approaching. "What were you doin', pissin' off the ledge?"

"Of course," Nick replied, sauntering past him and looking down the hole.

Wow. There were a _lot_ of Infected down there. Nick heard a Spitter, Jockey, and Charger as well. Hoo-ray.

"Who's goin' first?" he asked.

"Why don't you?" Rochelle replied.

He barely glanced at her before looking at Coach. "I've got a pipe bomb I can use to clear it out a bit."

"Good, throw it," Coach instructed.

"Pipe bomb inbound!" Nick warned, dropping it down the hole. The Infected swarmed around it and started clawing at the blinking chirping thing, trying to kill it. Nick and the others backed up as it exploded, shaking the ground a little.

"Looks a little bit better," Ellis commented, peering down.

"You go first, we'll be right behind you," Nick prompted.

"Since you were the last one in here, why don't _you_ go first?" Coach suggested.

"Fine," Nick shrugged. He jumped straight down without looking at Rochelle.

Before his feet had even touched the ground, a Tank roared and charged at him. _Shit_, so it _hadn't_ been a Charger! The muscled pink monstrosity sent him flying with one swing. Nick crashed against one of the walls and lay on the ground briefly, dazed.

"Guys!" he coughed, getting to his feet. "There's a Ta-"

It pummeled him again and he flew back even further, slamming against the grate blocking the rest of the tunnel. Nick tried to get up but the Tank pounded him once more and he felt himself fall back, unable to muster the strength to get up on his own.

"HELP!" he shouted, trapped. No way was he going to die here, not in this goddamned redneck Tunnel of Shit-

The Tank turned and chased after Coach and Ellis, who ran and fired at it, luring it away from Nick. Rochelle jumped down while it was distracted and hurried over to Nick. She knelt and tried to help him up.

"You're good, you're good," she encouraged, but the look on her face didn't match her words.

"Ro, get away from me and shoot the damn Tank before it kills one of them!" Nick snapped, rolling onto his side and wincing. Shit, that thing beat the _hell_ out of him.

Ro hesitated and then ran after Coach and Ellis, taking out her gun. Nick fell back and watched her go, hoping a Hunter didn't take the opportunity to pounce him while he was down. That would _suck_. Well, it'd only been a minute or two. Not like those freaks magically spawned or anythi-

Wait. Before he jumped down, hadn't he heard a Jockey and a-

"Nick!" he heard Rochelle call from somewhere down the tunnel. "We got it!"

The Spitter stepped out from behind the pillar where she had been hiding and spat her burning goo shit right at Nick.

"Oh COME _on!_" he groaned, feeling it sear painfully through his clothes. This was worse than being pounced. This was slow and painful. At least Hunters had the decency to kill you quickly.

"_Nick_!" he heard Rochelle shriek.

A gunshot.

That fugly Spitter bitch fell over dead and spread a smaller acidic puddle around her corpse. Rochelle ignored it and charged right through, heading straight for Nick.

_Shit_, he thought as he lost sight of Rochelle, _was the Tunnel of Love ALWAYS this dark?_

* * *

Nick's eyes flew open as a strong jolt of electricity coursed through his body. He convulsed once and then gasped in air, immediately coughing and rolling over. He pushed himself to his feet.

"All right, that was some serious _shit_!" he said weakly. "What happened?"

Rochelle dropped the now useless chest paddles and hugged him quickly before stepping back.

"You were dead," she said quietly. Her voice sounded hoarse.

"_What_? Bullshit!"

"She's serious, man!" Ellis insisted. "You were dead fer like…five minutes. Took us a while t' find some-a them chest paddles."

"I died in the Tunnel of Love," Nick repeated, mortified. "That has got to be the most em-_bar_assing thing I've ever heard. Or done."

"Congratulations," Coach chuckled. "You're alive now, though, so time to get a move on. We need to run on the coaster if we want to get to the safe room."

"You must be happy about this," Nick scoffed, looking at Ellis.

"Oh man, it's like Christmas came early!" Ellis said excitedly. "Hey, hold on, take my adrenaline shot. It'll help you move faster. Gimme your pills and we'll swap."

Nick hooked the shot to the strap on his leg and followed Coach and Ellis out. A hand on his arm stopped him.

"Nick, let me heal you," Ro said.

"Nah, I feel good," he replied, shrugging her off. "All I need is this shot and I'll do just fine on that coaster."

"You sure you're ok?" she pressed.

"Yeah, I'm great." He started to head for the fallen chainlink fence, then stopped. "Ro…was I really dead?"

"Yeah. How'd it feel?"

"I don't remember."

They chuckled nervously and then walked outside.

"Bet you just cried you eyes out for me," he joked. "Ran all over the place wailing like a Witch and raising hell until you found those chest paddles."

Nick looked over, grinning, and saw that her eyes actually _did_ look pretty puffy.

"Shit, is that your makeup, or did you actually-"

"Yeah, ha ha, Nick, make fun of me for caring about someone!" she snapped angrily, storming past him. "You only _died_ right in front of me, what was I thinking doing something stupid like crying? Silly me, silly Rochelle. I should have just made some wisecrack like, 'Oh, at least he was dressed for a funeral' and moved on. That's what you'd do, right?"

"Now hang on, sweetheart!" he protested, getting angry as well, but she didn't stop. He hadn't meant to upset her. He was just trying to lighten the mood.

Nick hurried over the fence and under the coaster. Up ahead, Rochelle hit the release for the coaster, and it rattled past her. Nick joined up with the group and stood in front of her. She had her arms folded and was tapping her foot impatiently.

"Listen, Ro, I didn't-"

He realized Coach and Ellis were staring at him, and decided to talk to her once they had reached the safe room.

The gate slid open, and the four started running on the track. Nick took out the shot Ellis had given him and stabbed it into his leg. He'd never used one before, so he didn't know how long it would take to-

_HOOOOOLYSHIT THIS WAS AAAAAWWWWEESOME!_

He flew by the other members effortlessly, feeling like he was the fucking Flash or something. He smacked Infected out of the way as they came towards him as if they were merely flies. God_damn_ this shit was _great_! Everything was so vivid, it was like he had binoculars for eyes!

"Nick, you're going to get your dumb ass killed again!" he heard Rochelle scream. He glanced back and saw her taking a shot as well.

"Come on, sweetheart, catch up!" he called, laughing exuberantly. Why couldn't he be on this all the time?

Down a steep drop and then back up. Punch that fucking Jockey pussy in the face.

He looked back. Rochelle had caught up to him, still looking a little angry, but he could see that she was experiencing the same rush as him.

"This is somethin' all right," she breathed.

"_Right?_ It's _awesome_!" he yelled.

Nick grabbed her hand and they sped up another slope of the coaster (he fucking hated coasters but right now it didn't even register he was SO FUCKING FAST) and through a short tunnel. They ran down the last incline and then jumped onto the platform with the shutoff lever. Rochelle axed a way clear and Nick slammed that thing off, hell yeah!

They started up the ramp that led to the safe house, almost forgetting about poor Coach and Ellis, who were much farther behind. At that point, though, the adrenaline wore off. Nick staggered and slumped against a rail, panting. He wiped at his sweat-covered forehead (sweat? Where had that come from? When had he exercised?) and looked over at Rochelle, who had fallen onto her ass. She was also breathing hard and wiping her forehead. They grinned at each other, not able to speak until their breath caught up with them.

By that time, Coach and Ellis had caught up.

"You two _craaazy_ fuckers," Ellis crowed, shaking his head and grinning. "Runnin' like you were some kinda superheroes."

"You coulda gotten yo asses _dead_!" Coach scolded.

Nick just laughed, still coming down from the exhilaration.

"That has got to be the best thing I've ever done," he declared.

Rochelle nodded energetically. Ellis laughed at them.

"Man, once you get used to it you're gonna feel differently," he said. "It loses some of its pizzazz."

"I don't care," Nick said. "They should replace air with that stuff."

Rochelle laughed loudly, almost falling over.

"Why don't you two meet us at the safe house when you're…calmer," Coach suggested.

Nick gave him a thumbs up, still leaning on the rail. Coach and Ellis continued on to the safe house, Coach muttering and bitching about Nick and Rochelle the whole way there. Nick looked back at Ro, still feeling giddy.

"That was pretty freakin' cool," she said, smiling.

"Totally," he agreed, taking her hand and pulling her to her feet.

They looked at each other, still flushed. Rochelle looked down at his hand, which was still holding her.

"You gonna let go?" she asked, smirking.

"Do you want me to?" he replied, smirking right back.

"Yes," she said quickly, jerking her hand free.

Nick felt disappointed, but then she stepped forward like she was going to kiss him. He leaned down, but then she quickly stepped back.

"Oh what the fu-" he complained.

She hesitated, took a step forward again, and then, before she could back away again, Nick grabbed her face and pressed his lips against hers. She didn't struggle, so after several moments he let go and looked at her.

Rochelle looked guilty. He frowned.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She didn't answer right away, so he went to kiss her again. She quickly stepped back.

"Ro?"

"It's the drugs," she said quickly.

He stared at her, confused. "What?"

"That stuff we just took," she continued, not looking at him. She played with her fingers nervously. "It's making us act weird."

"Are you kidding?" he asked incredulously.

"Sorry, Nick, I didn't mean to…you know," she apologized. "It must have been the adrenaline. That stuff is rough."

"Oh, I see. You wouldn't kiss me on purpose."

She swallowed and bit her lip.

"Sorry," she said again.

"Stop apologizing, goddamnit, it's fine!" he shouted. "Didn't know it would be so fucking painful for you to kiss me! Jesus Christ! Acting like you just kissed a Boomer or something."

She winced and looked up at him. "I didn't mean it like-"

"Whatever."

He turned and stormed into the safe house, ignoring Coach and Ellis.

"I'll take second watch," he volunteered, throwing himself into a corner and turning his back to them. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

Several minutes later, he heard Rochelle enter.

"Hey, Ro!" Ellis greeted her. "Wanna take third watch?"

"Actually, can I take the first watch? I don't feel too sleepy," she admitted.

"Sure, that's fine," Ellis agreed. The kid lay down near Coach, who was already snoring. "Nick'll wake me when his shift's over. He has second watch, so you'll hafta wake him up."

"Uh…great," she replied, echoing Nick's thoughts.

When more time had passed and Coach and Ellis were both soundly asleep, Ro called out.

"Nick?"

Nick remained silent, determined to ignore her. He feigned sleep and tried not to move.

"Nick?" she whispered.

Silence.

She knew he was awake, since he snored a little when he was actually asleep. She turned back to the door and stared out blankly, feeling awful.

"_What_, goddamnit? Stop making that face."

She looked at him in surprise. He was looking at her and resting his head on his hand, drumming his fingers impatiently. "_Well_?"

"I, uh…"

"If you say sorry again I am going to scream and punch Ellis in the ribs," he warned.

"I'm not going to apologize, relax!"

He looked at her skeptically.

"Ok, I was _thinking_ it, but…"

"Ro, I get it," he interrupted. "You threw yourself at me-"

"I _what_!?"

"-and now you're embarrassed because I'm so handsome and out of your league. It's fine, don't sweat it, it won't be awkward at all," he assured her.

"That's not at _all_ what I was thinking," she replied angrily.

"You don't have to say it. I can tell."

"_You _kissed _me_, remember?" she reminded him.

"I had to do _something_, you were doing this anxious little two-step and it was getting on my nerves," he replied.

"Oh what_ev_er."

She turned back to the door and folded her arms. "Why do I even try."

"Hold on, I have one more thing to say, Rochelle," Nick said from behind her. She heard him getting up.

"I _know_ I don't want to hear this," she sighed, rolling her eyes, but she turned back and faced him.

"I'm sorry I teased you about crying for me when I died," he said seriously, leaning forward slightly in front of her and resting his hands on his knees. "Hell, I would have cried for me, too."

"Nick, goddamnit-"

"I'm kidding!" he laughed, grabbing her hands as she tried to slap at him. "I would have busted up like a _baby_ if I saw you die."

She stopped fighting and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, busted up _laughing_," she shot back.

"No, I'm serious!" he insisted. "I would have cried more than Ellis did when we left that stupid car behind."

"That was a lot of crying."

"I know."

"I don't think you have enough moisture left inside you to cry. You're all dried out, you boozy old man."

"Oh ha ha, back to the alcoholic jokes, real classy."

"I thought you would have been more upset about the old man part," she said in surprise.

"Please. Ro." He pointed at his face. "This is _not_ the face of an old man. This is the stuff _dreams_ are made of."

"More like nightmares." She was smiling.

"Oh _kay_, as _fun_ as it is talking to you, I think it's nap time," he announced, heading back to where he had been lying before. "Don't hurt yourself trying to be funny."

"Same to you," she said, still smiling as she looked back out through the bars of the door.

_Thinks she's soooo funny_, Nick thought to himself as he curled up and faced the wall. _Nick the old man, Nick the nightmare face. What the fuck ever. I bet grabbing her tits would shut her up. Get me killed, too, but she would shut up. And the look on her face would be PRICELESS._

The coaster creaked to a halt outside the safe room. The ride powered down, spreading a silence over the park which was only interrupted by the occasional scuffle between two Infected.


	6. Dark Carnival Part Four

Ha, I like how the part Of Dark Carnival I knew nothing about ended up being the longest chapter. Good job, there.

Also no, I didn't forget about Gnome Chomski. I remember thinking at some point that Ellis put him into a backpack and carried him around, and then I thought everyone who read this would assume that, too. BUT. I realized they wouldn't. SO. I just made that clear in this chapter.

You might have noticed I've been using a lot of actual lines from the game. It provides authenticity! Totally not a cop out! Plus some are too good not to use.

And maybe it's just me, but I can't stand Mustachio. So Nick sort of channels that dislike. Sorry.

* * *

"Nick. Nick, let go of me."

Nick cracked an eye open and saw that he had an arm wrapped tight around Rochelle's waist. He quickly let go and sat up as she rolled away from him and stood up.

"What happened?" he asked, feeling his heart beating (was that from fear? Probably). "What the hell were you doing lying next to me?"

"I was _cold_!" she replied angrily, crossing her arms and keeping her distance as he stood up. "I didn't know you'd be all clingy."

"I was probably hoping you were Zoey," he grinned, shaking off his jacket.

"Yeah, that's why you muttered 'Ro', right?" she shot back, grinning.

He tried not to look mortified. "The hell I said Ro. Keep dreamin'."

"Hey, I'm just sayin' what I heard," she replied, holding up her hands.

"You heard wrong," he insisted, getting angry. "I must have said no. Or go."

"Whatever you say," she shrugged.

"Anyway, I was asleep, so anything I said or did is null and void." He looked around the room impatiently and saw Ellis was beginning to wake up. "So just forget about it and let's go."

"I don't know why you're getting so worked up over it," she muttered, rousing Coach from his chair.

"I'm not," he snapped. "Just don't do it again."

"Fine," she said angrily.

"Nick, remember when we ran on that roller coaster?" Ellis asked excitedly, getting up.

Nick covered his face with his hand and sighed deeply.

"Yes, Ellis, I remember," he said.

"We all up?" Coach asked, stretching and cracking his neck. There were various nonsense noises which meant yes. "Good, let's get some ammo and supplies before we leave."

Nick picked up a Combat Shotgun and glanced over at Rochelle, who had bent beside him and picked up one of those three-round burst machine guns. She met his eyes, glared at him, and then straightened up and walked away. Nick frowned at her back, but before he could say something, a voice drifted in from outside.

"Moustachio! Ha ha ha!"

Nick pressed his face against the bars, trying to see where that obnoxious sound had come from.

"I don't know what that is," he said, "but I already hate it."

"Good!" Ellis nodded, joining him at the door. "Moustachio's _evil_!"

Everyone stared at him.

"Um…what?" Rochelle said, voicing everyone's confusion.

"He's this evil pistachio," Ellis explained, looking extremely serious. "He's always tryin' to do in Lil' Peanut!"

"Ellis, _why_ in GOD'S name do you know the names of these things!?" Nick shouted.

"Uh…cause Kiddieland is awesome?" Ellis replied, as if it were obvious.

"All right, that's enough talk," Coach cut in, stepping up. "Let's go."

The four stepped out and were immediately confronted by several Infected, who charged and clawed at them. They knocked the screaming things back and shot or swung until the things died. When it was somewhat clearer, they continued, passing a trailer and a ticket stand, as well as a hot dog stand, several plastic chairs and tables, and a dumpster.

"Look, there's the perfect place for that prize you won, Ellis!" Nick exclaimed, pointing at the dumpster.

"You seen yerself lately? I think yer suit belongs in there," Ellis shot back.

"_Damn_, young 'un, shootin' it right back at Nick!" Coach praised as Rochelle burst out laughing. Nick just scowled.

"This suit cost more than your house," he muttered.

They walked through the center of what used to be an area for customers to sit and eat. Several empty green tables sat quietly under a string of dull lights which were strung up above the group's heads, encircling the perimeter and slightly hurting their eyes. The bumper cars were directly across from them as they left the tables behind, but Ellis saw something to their right that distracted him.

"Oh boy, a test-your-strength game!" he cried, running over to it. "Maybe I can win somethin' else!"

"Ellis, you _just_ won that troll," Nick complained as the rest of the group followed the eager boy. "Where is it, anyway?"

"Ok, first off, Nick, it's a _gnome_? _Gnome_ Chomski? Duh," Ellis corrected, looking at Nick as if he was an idiot. "Second, he's right in this here backpack-a mine, safe n' sound. Cozy, too."

"Ellis, it's not alive," Nick murmured to himself before raising his voice. "Well, at least you'll be shooting things instead of cradling that thing like a baby."

"Speaking of babies, this one time-"

A Hunter shrieked and pounced on Ellis from behind while the youth was beginning to go into another long-winded yarn. He hollered in surprise and thrashed on the ground, trying to shove the hooded creature off as it tore at his t-shirt with its claws. Coach smacked it off with his shotgun and blasted it twice, where it slumped to the ground and lay still.

"See what happens when you talk too much?" Nick said.

Rochelle stepped past him and took Ellis's hand, helping the kid to his feet. Nick looked away, annoyed, and noticed a stuffed giraffe sitting on a green bench near the strength machine. These stuffed animals were all over the place.

"Moustachio!" the machine announced, interrupting Nick's thoughts.

Nick glared at the cardboard image of Moustachio with distaste. "Is that all it says?"

"Moustachio! Test your strength!" the machine said immediately. "Doh ho ho!"

"Smartass," Nick growled. "That's not any better."

"Nick, stop talking to inanimate objects," Rochelle scolded.

"All right, lemme give this a try," Ellis said, readying his cricket bat.

He swung down as hard as he could. They all watched the marker fly almost up to the top, then fall back down.

"Ha ha, too weak!" the machine taunted. Nick wanted to put his fist through it. He hated this pistachio even more than that stupid peanut.

"Try again, Ellis," Rochelle encouraged.

Frowning, Ellis swung again, harder than before. The marker rose to the exact same spot, then fell back down. He stomped his foot in frustration.

"Dangit, what's wrong with me?" he complained.

"It's not you, it's the machine," Nick informed him. He knew how some of these things were rigged. "They probably weighted it so that you can't get it to the top unless you, I dunno, took one of those adrenaline shots or something."

"But that ain't fair!" Ellis looked aghast.

Nick shrugged. "It's pretty common."

Ellis shot the machine a glare and stormed off towards the bumper cars. "Stupid cheating thing."

"Aw, Ellis," Rochelle began.

"Wait, give that to him. Bribe him with something so he stop looking like a kicked puppy," Nick whispered to her, pointing at the stuffed giraffe.

She gave him a funny look and picked it up, running to catch up with Ellis. Nick and Coach watched as Ellis looked at Rochelle, then down at the giraffe, then at Rochelle, then back to the giraffe.

"What'm I supposed to do with that?" he asked.

"Uh…" Rochelle looked sideways at Nick for help.

Nick stared back at her, thinking quickly. He mouthed the word "friend", held up four fingers, then pointed at Ellis's backpack. She nodded slightly, then looked back at Ellis.

"It's a friend!" she said brightly, holding up the giraffe. "For your gnome! Wouldn't want him getting lonely in your big dark backpack, right?"

"That's just silly."

"Oh." Rochelle looked disappointed and lowered the giraffe. "I'll put it back, then."

"Nah, hold on, Ro, I'll take it. I woulda won it anyway, if that stupid game hadn't been rigged. 'Sides, it's kinda cute," Ellis admitted. He placed it next to the lawn gnome and then zipped up the backpack. "All right, let's head through the bumper cars."

Coach immediately headed off after Ellis, but Rochelle turned back and jogged over to Nick.

"Thanks for the help, slick," she said.

He shrugged. "No problem. Hold on, there's one thing I hafta do."

Nick marched up to the cardboard cutout of Moustachio, took out his crowbar, and bashed its smug cardboard face in. He smiled at the hole, nodded, and strolled towards the bumper cars, looking satisfied.

Rochelle walked next to him, shaking her head and smiling. "You are a crazy man."

"It had to be done, Ro," he replied. "There was no way I was leaving without at least punching that thing in the face."

"It's just a _cutout_, Nick."

The group tromped across the wooden floor of the bumper cars and headed for the glowing green exit sign.

"Good thing a Tank didn't show up here, right guys?" Ellis called back, grinning.

"Ellis, why are you trying to curse us?" Nick replied.

The sudden sound of a helicopter nearly deafened them once they stepped outside. They all ducked instinctively, then watched as it flew away to another area of the park.

"_Shit_, it was so _close_!" Rochelle cursed, watching it go.

"Head to the stadium, I have an idea!" Coach ordered.

"This idea wouldn't have anything to do with _food_, would it?" Nick asked suspiciously.

"No, my idea's about how t' get rescued!" Coach replied impatiently.

They headed through an opening in the bushes and turned left. At the end of that short path, they turned right, passing a burger stand with four stuffed elephants and giraffes.

"Jeez, these things are like rabbits," Nick muttered to Rochelle.

"I agree," she said, looking at them and wrinkling her nose. "They're too cute for my taste."

"I was referring to the way they appear to be multiplying like rabbits, but it's good to know you have _some_ taste," Nick replied.

"Says the guy wearing a suit during a zombie apocalypse," she shot back.

"Exactly, you know I'm credible!"

They caught up with the others, who had stopped and were looking around. The area they were currently in had a row of giant barns, most of which were sealed shut. The one at the farthest end of the line had a door open. Several food stands and vending machines were scattered around. A game to the left of a vending machine nearby caught Nick's eye.

"Stache Whacker," he read aloud. "Oh, I gotta see this."

He walked over and examined the machine. Five holes on top with miniature Mustachios inside and a red button to start the thing. So it was like whack-a-mole, only you hit that goddamn pistachio. This could be fun.

"Guys, I'm going to play this," he informed them. "Watch my back in case something comes."

"What're you gonna hit 'em with?" Ellis asked curiously, gasping as Nick picked up a nearby pistol. "Nick, that's _cheating_!"

"Relax, Tiny, it probably doesn't give out any prizes," he argued, pressing the button.

Thirty seconds started counting down as music came on. It was exactly the same as the shooting gallery's music, only muted. The first Mustachio mole popped up, and Nick shot at it, leaving a bullet hole dent in it. He hit three more, and then two popped out at the same time on opposite sides.

"What is this crap?" he demanded in surprise, forgetting to fire.

They both dropped down before he could shoot, and he cursed. Another one popped up and then down before Nick could even aim at it. He slammed his fist down after it.

"_Come on!_"

He hit another three, and then missed two. He tried pistol-whipping one, but his score didn't increase.

"This is such _bullshit!_" he shouted, furious.

"Nick, calm down, you're going to work yourself up into a heart attack," Rochelle joked.

"This thing is _so_ unfair, I can't even belie-"

Nick shot one more mole as the timer buzzed. His score read nine. CONTINUE? popped up on the screen, accompanied by a ten second timer.

"Hell yes," Nick muttered angrily, hitting the button again. He threw away the pistol and took out the crowbar.

"Nick, we really don't have time for this," Coach insisted.

"Ellis got to play a game, and I'm playing this one," Nick declared. "I'm not going _anywhere_ until I beat this stupid thing."

"He must really hate Mustachio," Ellis whispered to Rochelle. "It's just a cartoon."

Off in the distance, something squeaked. Nick ignored it and readied his crowbar.

"What was that?" Coach asked, looking around. Whatever it was squeaked again.

The first mole popped up, and Nick swung at it. There was a loud clang, followed by an "Ouch!", and it popped down, dented. Nick's score became ten.

"_Yes_!" he said happily, grinning and gripping the crowbar with both hands. This was going to be _awesome_.

A clown zombie emerged from the far barn and started running in their direction, a moderately large group of Infected following it.

"_Clowns?_ Clowns," Ellis said in disbelief. "You've gotta be kidding me."

Coach, Rochelle, and Ellis beat back the swarm as Nick continued to smash away at the moles. A lone Infected stopped behind him and punched him. Nick punched it right back and turned back to the game.

"Fucking Infected," he complained.

The game stopped. His score was at twenty-one, and yet nothing was dispensed. He pressed the button again as the group groaned.

Another clown came after them, this time from the direction of the bumper cars. While the group fought the Infected off again, Nick only managed to bring his score up to thirty.

"God_damn_it!" he cursed, slamming his fist down. "This is the _last_ time I'm going to play it. If nothing comes out, we'll go."

When Nick's score reached forty-two, sparks shot out and the machine emitted a loud screeching noise. Nick jumped back in surprise, wondering if it would explode or burst into flame. And where was his prize, goddamnit? The five Mustachio moles shot out and stayed up, frozen.

Shit. It was broken.

The familiar howl of an incoming Horde cut through the air, and Nick joined the others.

"Aw, real good job, _Nick_," Ellis complained, glaring at him. "You broke it _and_ got the zombies after us!"

"I didn't get a prize, either!" Nick grumbled. "This place sucks."

They blasted and beat back the sudden rush of zombies, switching between guns and melee weapons once the Horde's numbers began to dwindle. After a while, it was clear again.

"Now that Nick's done_ breakin_' things, we can go," Coach said.

Nick gave the Stache Whacker machine a glare, and then noticed what was opposite it. A few stuffed snakes and crocodiles were just hanging up, waiting to be taken. He hated to admit it, but they were kinda cute. He plucked a crocodile off a hook and hurried after the rest of them.

"Ro, wait up, I got something for you!"

She stopped and turned to him, impatient.

"What is-" she began to complain, but stopped when he held up the stuffed croc. "Nick, it's a_dor_able!"

"I thought so," he agreed, grinning.

"Aw, but where am I going to put it? I can't carry it around," she realized. "Damn. Thanks anyway."

Nick looked over her shoulder and noticed she didn't have a medpack. "I know, turn around."

She glared at him. "If you're going to make a crack about my ass-"

"I'm not, just turn around!" he insisted.

Rochelle gave him another warning look, then turned around. He attached the stuffed animal to the strap that usually held the medkit, making sure it was secure.

"Ok, you're good," he told her.

She grinned at him. "Thanks. Let's catch up."

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. Nick blinked at her, surprised.

"What-"

"You stupid bastard," she cut him off.

"_Hey!_" he protested.

A roar came from up ahead, near one of the barns. Coach and Ellis came sprinting back as the ground started to shake.

"Where the hell _were_ you two?" Coach demanded as they joined up.

Neither had time to reply as the Tank rumbled along a corner at them. The four split up, firing at it. It appeared to have a fit, probably frustrated at having to choose which person to go after. It slammed its fists down on the ground, then lifted up a large slab of concrete. Coach dove behind a kettle korn stand as the chunk smashed behind him.

"Shit, now it's _throwin_' things!" he panted.

Their combined fire brought it down just as it picked up another piece of concrete to chuck. It fell forward onto its face, the concrete smashing down on top of it.

"That was fun," Nick commented as they headed back to the open barn. "Any other surprises? Don't answer, Ellis."

A Boomer was hiding just inside the doorway of the barn. As Coach, Ellis, and Rochelle stepped through, it puked on them. Nick was far enough away that he managed not to get hit.

"Shit!" Nick cursed, shooting it.

It exploded and covered the other three with even more Boomer bile. They wiped at their faces, yelling in disgust.

"GODDAMNIT, NICK!" Coach bellowed. "_Watch_ where you _aim_!"

A swarm of Infected appeared from nowhere and quickly ran at the soaked survivors. Nick and the others beat them back and blasted them, Nick hitting more often than the others since he didn't have puke dripping over his eyes. As their vision cleared, the zombies were dispatched more efficiently, and soon they were alone in the barn.

"_Ugh_!" Nick gagged, covering his nose with his sleeve. "What _is _that?"

"Maybe the dried _puke_ we're now covered in?" Ellis replied sarcastically.

"No, it's worse," Nick claimed, looking around.

A dead cow lay rotting in one of the stalls. He pointed at it, and the other three looked at it.

"I wonder if it starved?" Rochelle wondered, looking upset at the idea.

"It was probably the virus that did it in," Coach decided.

"Can animals even catch the green flu?" Rochelle asked doubtfully.

"I dunno," Coach shrugged.

"Maybe they were carriers," Nick suggested, joining them reluctantly. It stunk to high hell. "Probably the reason this whole thing started. Let's go before _I _puke all over you guys."

They crossed into the next barn, shooting the few Infected who were inside. They headed through a door in the back corner and found themselves in a large room. Two rows of four mostly empty tables decorated it. Ammo and some guns lay on the farthest table. Nick shut the door behind them to cut off the dead cow smell before following the other three.

"Good, I was running low," Rochelle admitted, picking up more ammo.

Nick grabbed some as well and reloaded his gun. He glanced at her as he did so.

"So you kissed me. _Willingly_, I might add," he pointed out. "No adrenaline to blame this time, honey."

"Actually, I took some pills _right_ before you gave me that croc," she answered, smiling. "So I _can_ blame drugs. _Honey._"

"Oh yeah? What were those pills made of? Bullshit? You didn't have pills _or_ a shot when we got to the barns. You _wanted_ to kiss me. Admit it, babe."

"Nothing to admit," she said lightly, reloading her gun as well. "Like I said, pills are to blame, babe."

"You're stickin' with that, huh, sweetie?"

"Sure am, sweetheart."

"I want my croc back."

"Too late, you already gave it to me."

"We all ready?" Coach asked, looking around.

The other three nodded at him and they started to head outside. Nick, still aggravated, pinched the side of Rochelle's stomach. She yelped and jumped sideways, banging into a table. Ellis and Coach looked back in alarm.

"Jeez, Rochelle, try to be a little more careful!" Nick said loudly, daring her to say something.

"Sorry, caught me off guard," she replied, glaring at him.

"It's ok, Rochelle, just try to make a little less noise," Coach advised.

"I agree with that," Nick began, before Rochelle kicking him in the ass cut him off. He stopped and looked back at her, shaking his head at her nerve. "Do that again and I will _drop_ you."

"Ooh, scary," she joked, waving her free hand. "What're ya gonna do if I mess up your suit? Wash your hands some more?"

He didn't reply and waited patiently as Coach climbed up onto the roof of the barn. When Ellis, who followed, was almost all the way up, Nick suddenly spun and grabbed her, digging his fingers into her ribs. She screamed and kicked at him, laughing uncontrollably.

"Let go!" she begged, trying to squirm out of his hold.

"Not until you admit pills had _nothing_ to do with kissing me!" he insisted.

"No!" She tried to hold out, but it was getting hard to breathe. "Ok, ok! Just stop, I can't breathe!"

"Fine." He let go of her and waited patiently, his hands on his hips. "Well?"

She pretended to be more winded than she was, waiting for him to speak again.

"I'm waiti-"

She quickly slapped him and then scrambled up onto the roof. Nick grabbed at her leg and barely missed it, his fingers brushing her shoe.

"Oh you _bitch_!" he cried, climbing up after her as she started cackling and running after Coach and Ellis. "When I get my hands on you-"

"Quit messin' around and hurry up!" Coach yelled from the second rooftop.

She was halfway to the second roof, and Nick was closing in on her, intending to get revenge (he would spank the _fuck_ out of her, that'd teach her to slap him) when a Charger cried out and then grabbed Coach, carrying him off the second roof and onto the third.

"_Shoot this thing poundin' the shit outta me_!" Coach hollered, unable to break free.

Ellis, being the closest, shot first, but Nick and Rochelle soon joined him. After a few seconds the Charger released Coach and limply rolled off the roof, landing on the ground below. Unfortunately, its large corpse attracted the zombies' attention. Infected began jumping up and pulling themselves onto the roof. Thankfully, the higher ground allowed the survivors to easily see and pick most of them off before they got too close. When both the ground below and the area to the right were clear, they began jumping down. Coach and Ellis continued towards the scaffold and gate. Nick followed them, glancing back at Rochelle. She was keeping a good distance behind him, watching him warily. Smart move.

A Smoker coughed somewhere, and everybody stopped, looking around for it. Rochelle felt herself yanked off her feet and dragged back, eventually hanging straight down in front of an abandoned house.

"Help!" she cried, struggling ineffectually.

Nick couldn't see the Smoker, and he didn't want to risk hitting Rochelle with a bullet. He ran up to her and grabbed onto the Smoker's tongue with both hands. He yanked down as hard as he could and it immediately let go, tumbling down onto the ground headfirst. Nick stomped it a few times to make sure it was dead, then turned to Rochelle.

"Hold still, you've got gunk all over you," he said, brushing off her legs with his left hand. He readied his right as she tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for him to stop.

"Taking an _awfully_ long time for you to-" she began.

He smacked his right hand as hard as he could against her ass and she jumped straight forward, dropping her gun and clutching her behind. She whirled and stared at him, her mouth wide open in shock.

"That's what you get for slapping me," he told her calmly. "Don't do it again or else that'll happen."

She continued to gape at him and he sauntered past, smirking. They were even now.

Something bounced off the back of his head and he turned around, startled. An empty paper cup lay at his feet. He looked up just in time to see Rochelle throw another one. He flinched as it bounced off his forehead.

"It's like you _deliberately_ provoke me!" he declared, advancing towards her as she backed up, looking around for another cup to throw. "Like you _want_ me to touch you or something!"

"Are you girls done _grab assing_ over there?" Coach shouted, sounding very annoyed. "We need to get through this gate!"

"Sorry, Coach!" Rochelle hollered back, punching Nick in the chest. He staggered back and coughed as she picked up her gun. "We'll be right there!"

Nick punched her hip as they ran back and she stumbled, giving him a dirty look. He pretended not to see.

"We need to press this button t' open the gate," Ellis told them once they were all together. He pointed at a button just inside a house. "'Course that means it'll probably make a ton-a noise and bring all the zombies down on us."

"Fun," Rochelle sighed.

"There's a safe house up ahead, though," Coach said, pointing at the familiar spray painted sign, "so once the gates are open, we'll need to plow our way through."

Nick thought he heard the faint sound of a Witch crying somewhere in the distance. It was probably just his imagination.

"I'm stayin' in this corner, so I'll press the button when you're ready," Nick informed them, settling back against the wall.

"I'll take the opposite corner," Rochelle announced, running over to it.

"I guess we'll keep a lookout up on the scaffold, then," Coach decided. "Come on, Ellis."

Nick waited for the two of them to climb up. He looked over at Rochelle, who gave him the finger. He smiled at her.

"Charming!" he called.

"Thought you'd appreciate it!" she replied.

"Ok, we're ready!" Coach shouted down.

"All right, I'm pressin' it!" Nick announced, reaching in the window and slapping the button.

The gate started creaking, but Nick saw absolutely no movement. Of _course_ the gate was rusted. He sighed.

Almost immediately, Infected began pouring in from all directions, mostly heading for the others. Nick shot whatever he could, making sure no one got overwhelmed. Coach and Ellis kicked off any Infected who tried to climb up, making their defense easy. Rochelle fell back on her axe and started swinging, decapitating whatever charged at her.

Nick looked at the gate. Still nothing. _Come on_.

Clowns, leading their own little parades of zombies, hopped over the gate, running at the survivors. Nick shot down the dozen or so who rushed at him, scowling. At least these ones weren't wearing fireproof suits.

"Gate's open!" someone (probably Ellis) shouted, barely audible over the sound of gunshots and snarling.

Nick saw the gate retract, revealing three turnstiles side-by-side. He ran through, swinging his crowbar at any pursuing Infected. Rochelle quickly caught up and passed him.

"Trying to get pounced? Not the best plan, sweetheart," he teased.

"I think I can take care of myself," she retorted, looking back at him and smirking.

A Jockey jumped on her and Nick tried not to laugh. _Oh_ yeah, she could take care of herself. He tried to catch up to them, but the Jockey kept dragging her forward. Where the hell was it taking her? And was the sound of a Witch getting louder? Panicked, he reached the end of the path and turned left, following Rochelle and the Jockey.

A Witch sat sobbing directly in front of the safe room door, and the Jockey was steering Rochelle straight towards it.

"_Get it offa me!_" she shrieked, unable to change her direction.

The Witch howled and stood up, knocking Rochelle to the ground with one swipe. The Jockey hopped off and tried to scuttle past Nick, who slammed his crowbar straight into the back of its neck and kept running for Rochelle.

"_ShitshitSHIT!_" he hissed, grabbing for his flashlight.

"HEY! YOU STUPID BITCH!" he hollered at the Witch, flicking the light on and off in her face. "Get over here! Pussy!"

The Witch completely ignored him and started slashing at Rochelle in a crazed frenzy, shrieking in rage. Rochelle screamed piercingly, ineffectually holding up her hands to defend herself.

_Oh God, that can't be her blood. It can't be, _Nick thought wildly, running right up to the pale woman.

The Witch didn't stop clawing even as Nick blasted her with his shotgun. Finally, after the third shot, she fell to her knees and then on her side, motionless. Nick knelt beside Rochelle, grabbing her hand.

"Ro! _Shit, _RO!" he cried, feeling himself trembling. "Get up!"

Her shirt was soaked in blood, and she looked at him, dazed.

"Jacob?" she said sleepily.

"No, _fuck_, it's _me_! It's Nick! We gotta get you up!" He tugged at her, afraid to hurry her but also aware that the Horde would catch up and do even more damage if she didn't get up soon. "Come on, Ro!"

"What happened?" she asked, looking at her shirt and blinking slowly. "Is this juice?"

"Sure, sure, just get _up, goddamnit_!"

Losing his patience, he grabbed her and hefted her over his shoulder, running for the safe room. He could feel something soaking through his jacket and shirt as he ran.

_There had better be a first aid kit in here_, he thought. _If not, so help me God, I'll search the whole goddamn park until I find one._

"Wait up!" Ellis called from behind. Nick ignored him.

He laid her carefully on the ground and she groaned in pain. He took off his jacket (the right shoulder was now stained with blood) and tied it around her waist, trying to soak some of it up. She looked up at him, breathing shakily. "Am I gonna be ok?"

"You're gonna be fine," he assured her, hands shaking slightly as he slid her shirt up and pressed his jacket against the wounds (he couldn't even see them through the blood, which he thought was both good and bad). "Just lie still and relax."

She smiled up at him. "Thanks, Doc."

Ellis burst in behind him, panting.

"Man, what the hell? Why didn't you-" He noticed the state Rochelle was in. "OH MAH GAWD! _WHAT HAPPENED_!?"

"Witch got her," Nick said shortly, barely looking at him. "Is Coach coming or what?"

Ellis stepped outside and hollered for Coach to hurry up, Rochelle was _dyin' _in here. Nick silently cursed the kid.

"I'm going to get you some first aid," he told her. "I'll be right back. Try not to move around if it hurts."

"It _hurts_," she groaned.

Nick bit his lip and hurried over to the shelves, quickly finding the one with the medkits. He snatched one up and ran back to her.

_I gotta heal her. She has to make it. That GODDAMN Jockey! Why didn't I shoot it? What the fuck was I think chasing after it on foot?_

The cuts on her hands and arms seemed shallow, so he focused on her injured abdomen. He peeled the jacket (now red and white) back and saw that there was still too much blood for the gauze to stick without sliding. He heard the door shut and looked up.

"I'll check the bathroom for a towel or something to help mop her up," Coach said solemnly, walking into the side room.

Ellis danced from one foot to the other with his hat in his hands, biting at the bill of it.

"_Ohmanohmanohman_," he moaned worriedly, not taking his eyes off her. "Is she gonna be all right? I just don't know what I'd do if-"

"She'll be _fine_!" Nick snapped, growing angrier and more frightened as she closed her eyes. "_Shit!_ Rochelle, sweetie, you gotta stay awake a while longer, ok?"

She sighed heavily. "Ok."

Coach came out with a damp towel and handed it to Nick without a word. Nick quickly pressed it to her stomach and she flinched, crying out in pain.

"I know, I know, but I have to do it!" he soothed.

The towel started to make some progress in getting the blood wiped away. Nick flipped it over and started wiping off some of the blood above her stomach. She groaned weakly.

"Almost done," he lied.

He pressed the towel down over the area that had been bloodiest and waited. After a few minutes, he moved it away. There were five or six claw marks which still bled, but not profusely. They were deeper than the ones on her hands, but not deep enough so that, say, her intestines would spill out. Nick shuddered at the thought.

He tossed the towel to the side and opened the medkit, taking out disinfectant.

"Shit, I should wash my hands. I don't want to risk infecting her with something," he realized.

Nick ran to the bathroom and quickly scrubbed his hands clean before running back out and dropping back beside her.

"Rochelle?" he said, trying to get her attention.

"Hm?"

"This is probably going to sting," he warned, and then hesitated before continuing. "A lot."

"Ok," she replied, obviously not understanding what he had just said.

_No time to worry about that now_, he thought, opening the bottle. He poured it carefully and slowly onto the gashes. Her shoulders jerked and she clenched her teeth shut and growled through them as the liquid fizzled and bubbled, turning into white foam. She dug her nails into her palms.

"We'll be done soon," he promised, taking her hand.

Bad idea. She dug her nails into _his_ palm instead. He winced but didn't pull his hand away, reaching for the bloodied towel so he could wipe away the foam.

"It _stings_!" she hissed, her eyes squeezed shut.

"Good, at least you can still feel, right?" he told her, dabbing carefully.

She grumbled something he didn't catch and let go of his hand. He put the towel down again and picked up the roll of gauze.

"I need to wrap this around you, ok?" he said. "Can you sit up?"

She tried, but only got a few inches before falling back, groaning. She had started to sweat.

"Ok, ok, I'll do it _without_ you sitting up," he assured her.

He carefully stretched the gauze over the wounds, setting them in place as best he could. He picked up the tape that went over it and tore off a piece, taping it from one side of her stomach to the other over as much gauze as he could. He repeated it with another piece, then another, and finally one last piece. He set the roll of tape down and replaced her shirt.

"All right, we're done," he announced.

She sighed wearily, opening her eyes. "Thanks."

"You should get some rest, baby doll," Coach spoke up, startling Nick. He had forgotten Ellis and Coach were there. "Took quite a beatin'."

Ellis still had his hat in his hands, but had stopped jumping from one foot to the other. He didn't say anything.

"All right," she murmured, closing her eyes again. "Wake me when it's my watch."

The three men watched as she fell into a peaceful doze, then looked at each other.

"That was _too_ close," Coach whispered, looking haggard all of a sudden.

"What exac'ly happened?" Ellis asked quietly, looking at Nick.

"A Jockey jumped on her, and the little bastard steered her right into a Witch," Nick replied. "Bitch was sitting right in front of the safe room."

They were silent again. Ellis played with his hat and Coach rubbed the back of his head. Nick looked over at Rochelle.

"You should get some sleep," Coach said to Nick.

"No, no, I'll keep watch over her," he insisted. "You guys sleep. Either of you get hurt?"

"Nuthin' too bad," Ellis shrugged. "Hold on."

He untied the sweatshirt around his waist and held it out to Nick.

"You can make it into a pillow or somethin' for 'er," he suggested. "So she's more comferble."

Nick nodded. "Thanks."

He heard the kid walk off and turned back to Rochelle. Coach put his hand on Nick's shoulder.

"She'll be _fine_, Nick," he emphasized.

"I know," he replied, too quickly. "She's tough. I just…wanna be there for her when she wakes up. She'll probably be confused. That, or she'll just blame me."

Coach chuckled. "We'll set her straight."

Nick smiled. Coach walked off to sleep as well, and he began folding Ellis's sweatshirt into a pillow. He gently lifted up Rochelle's head and slid the garment under, setting her head down just as carefully. He scooted back slightly so he was against the safe room door and sighed, feeling exhausted.

_You know, it is your fault._

Nick tried not to pursue the thought, but it continued as he looked at Rochelle.

_Chasing after a Jockey when you KNOW how fast those things are? It's like you WANTED her to be incapacitated. And ignoring that Witch? What a pal you are._

Nick swallowed hard. This was not going to be fun.


	7. Dark Carnival Part Five

Some time later, Nick jerked awake. He immediately felt ashamed that he had fallen asleep. Christ, he couldn't even watch over her.

"Nick?"

He looked over at her and saw her propped up and leaning back on her elbows, staring at him.

"Where are we? What happened?" she asked quietly.

Nick licked his lips before answering.

"A Jockey jumped on you," he related. "There was a Witch in front of the safe room, and it steered you right into it."

She winced. "I have the worst luck."

He hesitated. "I…might have been part of it."

Rochelle blinked at him in surprise.

"I ran after the Jockey with my crowbar instead of shooting it," he confessed. "I was afraid of hitting you with the shotgun. You probably would have been less messed up if I had just shot the goddamn thing instead of playing tag."

She frowned slightly, still looking at him.

"Shit, you're mad. That's ok." He felt awful.

"No, I'm not," she replied. "Nick, it's fine. If you _had_ shot at the Jockey, then _you_ probably would have ended up startling the Witch."

"Better me than you."

"Nick, come on. You don't mean that."

"_Oh-h-h_, but I do. I know it's done, but if I could go back? I would shoot the fuck out of the back humper and laugh in that bitch's face."

"But then I'd have to carry _your_ heavy ass to the safe room. I don't think I could have done it."

He chuckled. "Yeah. You're tiny."

She frowned at him. "Doesn't mean I'm not tough."

"Yeah, you're a regular fireball," he agreed, getting up and sitting down next to her.

"Still sarcastic, I see," she replied, aching an eyebrow. "Guess not much has changed. No tears for me either."

"Well, you know, the piss and vinegar in my veins dried me out," he said seriously, shrugging. "And the alcohol-"

"Hardy har."

They sat quietly, and Rochelle pushed herself into a sitting position. Nick instinctively reached out to help her, but she leaned away.

"I'm fine," she assured him. "I might be tiny but I don't need help _moving_."

"No, you just need help staying out of trouble," he snorted.

"Did Ellis do this?" she asked, holding up the kid's sweatshirt. "That was sweet."

Anger came flooding in, and this time he couldn't bullshit himself into thinking it was wounded pride or some shit. This was _pure_ jealousy.

"Yeah, real sweet," he snapped.

She frowned over at him. "You ok?"

"Rochelle, you just don't know how-" He cut himself off, on the verge of an outburst. She didn't need to hear it.

"How _what_?" she pressed, turning so her upper body was completely facing him.

"Nothing," he muttered, glaring at one of the shelves.

"No, tell me. Now I'm curious."

"I'll bet."

"_Nick_," she warned.

"Fine, you really want to know?" he hissed, trying to keep his voice down so Coach and Ellis wouldn't wake up. "I _shit_ my fucking _pants_ in terror every goddamn time you get in trouble. I've had about _fifteen_ heart attacks over you, and those are just the ones I've bothered keeping track of. Each time you go down, I wonder, 'Will she get up again? Is this it?' When that Witch had you on the ground, I—Ro, I thought you were _dead_. I thought you were going to bleed to death right in front of me, and it would have been all my fault. I don't think I can _begin _to tell you how fucking panicked I was, and then you go, 'Oh, I see you didn't cry, Nick, guess you don't care.' Well guess what-"

"You have blood on your shirt," she interrupted, pointing.

He abruptly stopped talking and looked over at the rust-colored stain on his shoulder. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, realizing she probably hadn't heard a thing he said. "Forget it. Forget everything I said. Never mind."

"Nick, _holy shit_!" she breathed, staring at something in horror. "Is that your _jacket_?"

Rochelle crawled forward and picked it up, transfixed. Nick saw it was covered in large splotches of dried blood, too. Oh well, what else was new. He sighed and rolled his eyes. He hoped Coach and Ellis would wake up soon. He was feeling restless.

"I'm gonna-" he started to say, but stopped when he saw Rochelle was looking at him with watery eyes. Oh God, what now? She was probably still in pain from those gashes. But then again she was moving around just fine. So…

"What?" he asked, confused and worried. "Did you want me to keep it clean or something?"

She swallowed hard and dropped the jacket, then started quickly crawling towards him. Nick scooted back nervously. Shit, was she going to slap him? What had he done?

"Don't hit me!" he warned as he felt his back hit the wall. _Fuck_.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt her grab his shoulders and pull herself onto him. He cracked an eye open when no slap came.

Her arms were around his neck and she was crying into his shirt.

"You idiot," she kept repeating, the words muffled.

He sighed and put his arms around her back. _Women_.

"I'm an idiot because…I took care of you?" he ventured.

"You ruined your jacket!" she whimpered.

"Oh my _God_. Ro_chelle_. I don't _care_. It doesn't mat-_ter_. You're _alive_, _that_ matters. Get your priorities straight, sweetheart. Besides," he added jokingly, "we both know I look _way_ better than that stupid jacket does."

She giggled and wiped at her eyes. "Yeah, but that's because it looks like shit now."

He grinned at her and brushed some hair off her forehead. She still looked tired. Maybe they shouldn't move on just yet. She looked a little dirty, too, but that was no surprise. Maybe there was another towel in there she could use.

Nick noticed her slightly red eyes, even prettier this close up. He ran the back of his hand across her cheek, wiping up a stray tear. After all, she didn't need Coach and Ellis to see that she had been crying. And her lips—

"Mmphf!"

Welp, they were locked onto his right now. If that wasn't a go ahead, he didn't know what was.

He slanted his head and pushed his mouth back against hers, running his tongue over her upper lip before sliding it in and against hers. He brought his hands up to the sides of her face, stroking just under her ear with his thumb. She curled her fingers into his hair and pulled, also wrapping her tongue around his before letting go and biting gently at his lip. They drew back slightly, flushed and staring at each other.

"What now?" Rochelle breathed, licking her lips.

Nick pulled her back to him and nuzzled her throat before running his tongue across it, making her shiver. She pressed him closer to her as he continued to lick and suck at her neck, slowly working his way down to her collarbone. He slid one of his hands under her shirt, carefully moving it up past the bandages to her breast. He traced lazy circles around her nipple before finally flicking his thumb over it. She groaned softly and then pulled away, to Nick's surprise.

He watched her fumble with his belt and grinned. Fuck. _Yes._

"Sure you're awake enough for this?" he teased, his voice rough. "You're not gonna fall asleep on me, are ya?"

She gave him a look and continued to struggle with his belt.

"You're not in pain, right?" he asked more seriously. "We didn't give you painkillers or anythi-"

"Boy, _you're_ gonna be the one in pain if you don't get this goddamn belt off!" she hissed.

He laughed at her and easily undid it. He slid a hand around to her ass and squeezed. "Just burnin' up for me, huh?"

She grinned as she slid her hand into his pants and gripped his cock. "You feel the same, I guess."

Just then, and of course it had to be _just then_, Ellis yelled out delightedly, "Coach, I think Ro's awake! Get up!"

Nick and Ro froze, then immediately went scrambling into action.

"_Shitshitshit_," Nick cursed, zipping up and buttoning his pants. He refastened his belt and smoothed his hair.

"Damn that kid," she whispered, pulling her shirt back down and rolling off Nick.

By the time Coach and Ellis appeared around the corner several seconds later, Nick and Ro were innocently sitting on the floor with a good amount of space between them. Rochelle sat with her legs straight out and Nick had his crossed.

"Hey," Rochelle greeted, trying not to look guilty.

"Hey, guys," Nick said as well, waving awkwardly. _Don't mind me, I just have a HUGE fucking erection. Goddamnit, Ro. _

Coach glanced back and forth between the two and raised an eyebrow knowingly.

"_What__?" _Nick demanded with clenched teeth_._

"You know _what__," _Coach growled back_._

"Ro, I'm so glad yer ok!" Ellis exclaimed happily, completely oblivious. He ran to her and hugged her. "I didn't know if you were gonna make it or not! There was so much _blood_! Anyway, it's great t' see ya up an' alive. Did my sweatshirt help? Were ya comfy?"

"Yes, Ellis," she laughed. "Thank you. It was very sweet."

"Good, good," he grinned. "Y'know, this whole near death experience you went through reminds me of somethin' that happened to Keith. This one time-"

As he heard Ellis yammer on, Nick felt his boner die away. Guess Ellis's stories were good for _something__._

Coach was still giving him that look, and Nick didn't know what else to do but glare right back. Fuck him. Being all silent judge.

"How ya feelin'?" Coach said finally, interrupting Ellis.

"Better, a lot better," Rochelle admitted. "Sorry for slowin' you guys down."

"Whatever, we weren't gonna leave ya behind!" Coach declared. "You're one-a us! We all gotta stick together! Right now we're all we have."

Rochelle nodded. Nick tried not to stare at her breasts.

"So Nick," Coach said, and Nick jerked his eyes back toward him, "what's your diagnosis?"

"Uh…it's really up to her," he replied. "I only know so much about her body."

"I feel fine," she said quickly, trying not to look at Nick. She was already a little red in the face. "You guys wanna get goin'?"

"Actually, I was hopin' Coach would tell us about that idea he had earlier," Ellis spoke up. "About getting' rescued?"

"What?" Coach said, looking confused, and then he remembered._ "__Oh__, _right, right! Ok, so the Midnight Riders are playin' here in this stadium, right?"

Ellis nodded eagerly while Nick and Rochelle shrugged.

"And they have the _best_ pyrotechnics show around, right?"

Ellis nodded again. Nick uncrossed his legs and drummed his fingers impatiently.

"So what I'm thinkin' is, we start up the show," Coach declared. "That copter's _sure_ to see or hear us, and we'll get picked up!_"_

"Sounds like the best damn plan I ever _heard__!" _Ellis cheered, jumping to his feet. "Rockin' out while killin' zombies? This is the best day-a mah _life__!"_

They all smiled at his enthusiasm.

"All right, arm up and meet me at the stage," Coach instructed. "We'll figure out how t' turn it on and shit once we're all together."

He walked out of sight and picked up a new gun and some pills before exiting the safe room. Ellis grabbed some ammo and tore after him, singing some lyrics at the top of his lungs, leaving Nick and Rochelle alone. They looked at each other.

"Guess we should go after them," she said finally.

"Yep," Nick agreed.

They didn't move.

"So…we'll finish this later?" Rochelle asked hesitantly.

"Christ, we better," Nick replied. "I'll drug them both if I have to."

She laughed and they got to their feet. She handed him his jacket and he put it back on, grimacing a little at its appearance. Nick bent down and picked up the plush croc, holding it out to her. She smiled at it and turned her back to Nick so her could reattach it. He took his time, stroking her neck with his hand.

"Nick," she warned, but didn't push his hand away.

"Fine, fine," he sighed, strapping the croc to her back. "Just one quick thing."

He clamped his teeth into her neck and she flinched in surprise, bringing her shoulders up.

"Don't struggle, it'll hurt more," he told her, not letting go.

"_What_ are you—are you giving me a _hickey__?" _she demanded.

"Of course," he replied calmly.

"_Why__? _Everyone will _see_ it_!"_

"Exactly." He let go and stepped back.

She turned around and looked at him with an eyebrow raised, her hands on her hips.

"Want me to find a Sharpie so you can just write 'Property of Nick' on my forehead?" she asked sarcastically, smirking.

"Yeah, that'd be great, actually."

She rolled her eyes. "Men."

He picked up some more ammo and another medpack ("'Cause I just _know_ you're going to need this," he teased), as well as some pills.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied, picking up Ellis's sweatshirt. She rubbed her neck and winced. "That really hurt."

He held up his palms. "What can I say, I'm rough."

She scowled at him. "Don't tempt me."

"Babe, I'm temptation personified."

"I'm sure."

They walked down the hallway past some bathrooms together in silence. Coach and Ellis had taken care of the Infected along the way; their bodies were slumped in various positions against walls and on the ground. They finally entered the large stadium and stopped, looking around in awe. It was _huge__._

"It's so _weird_ to see it completely empty," Rochelle commented. Nick nodded.

Coach and Ellis waved to them from the main stage. "Come on, y'all, hurry up!"

Nick and Rochelle ran up onstage. Several guitars were lying around, and a mike was set up for the absent (maybe evacuated?) band. Several large speakers were onstage as well, and so were some things Nick and Rochelle didn't recognize.

"What the hell are those?" Nick asked, pointing at things that lined the front of the stage on either side of the mike.

"Those? They shoot fireworks!" Ellis told him. "All part-a the show!"

"That's…safe. Probably."

"We need to turn the lights on first," Coach told them. He pointed to the top of the bleachers opposite the stage. "They're up there. Who wants to do it?"

"Ooh, me!" Ellis cried, waving his hand in the air excitedly.

"What is this, kindergarten?" Nick asked.

Ellis took off running. He ran up the stands to the lights' control, unaware that a Hunter was jumping after him.

"Shit, Ellis! Hunter on yo' ass!" Coach tried to warn, but the boy was too far away to hear him.

Ellis switched the lights on and then stood at the top of the bleachers.

"I got 'em!" he cried.

The Hunter crouched behind him and leaped, missing and flying straight over Ellis's head. Well, it almost missed. Its foot clipped Ellis's head and the boy was knocked forward, joining the Hunter in tumbling head over heels down the rows of bleachers. They both made angry unhappy noises as they banged down to the bottom, sounding remarkably similar. The Hunter reached the ground first, landing sprawled on its back, sore all over. Ellis came tumbling down on top of it, knocking the wind out of it again and squashing it. It snarled angrily and tried to claw at Ellis, but it couldn't move well.

"Oh shut up," Ellis snapped back. "It's all your fault anyway."

He smacked it a few times with his cricket bat and it lay still.

"Ok, we ready to rock?" Ellis asked, excited again almost instantly.

"Yep, we just need to find a way to start the finale," Coach replied.

"You know who's good?" Nick interrupted. "Hugh Dillon."

"I…never heard of him," Coach admitted.

"He's ok, I _guess__," _Rochelle said, doubtfully. "Just average, nothing spectacular."

"You kidding? I _love_ 'Lost at Sea'!" Nick exclaimed.

"You just like him 'cause he sounds like you," Rochelle accused.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Nick replied. "Besides, we look _nothing_ alike. He's balder than that biker douche we left back on the bridge. Asshole's probably still there, mouthing off and being useless."

"Hmm, sounds exactly like what you've been doing since day one," Rochelle smirked.

"I will kill you."

"Folks, come on," Coach interrupted. "We gotta find a way to start this shit!"

The four split up and looked around the stage. Nick stumbled across a tape deck labeled "Finale".

"Hey Coach, I think I know how to start the finale," he announced. "Hit the button labeled 'Finale'."

"Well done, clever guy," Coach replied, rolling his eyes at Nick's sarcasm. "Go on and hit it."

"You aren't going to start dancing, are you?"

"Just hit the damn thing!"

Nick pressed it. For two seconds, nothing happened. Then flames shot up from the front of the stage. Nick jumped in surprise.

"Jesus Christ!" he yelled. "This shit is _dangerous__!"_

"So are the zombies!" Ellis yelled back.

"Zombies don't_ light you on fire__!"_

"Ah, quit bitchin' and enjoy the music!" Coach shouted.

Some old men whose voices reminded Nick of that jackass biker started singing about…something. Over the sound of the music came the roar of the Horde.

"Get ready!" Rochelle warned, clutching her axe. "They're coming!"

Soon enough, the zombies swarmed onstage, seeming to come from every direction. The four shot, whacked, and chopped the Infected as they drew close, killing the last of them as the Riders stopped singing and went into a guitar solo. Ellis joined in, air guitaring.

"Christ that kid is embarrassing," Nick muttered, covering his face with his hand.

"He's just happy," Rochelle pointed out, smiling.

A Tank roared. They spotted it by the lights control, at the top of the bleachers.

"Shit, look! The music's pissing off the Tank!" Nick cried.

"Shut up and shoot at it!" Coach yelled.

Ellis and Rochelle, being the only ones with machine guns, opened fire while the Tank was still far away. Nick and Coach shot at it when it started to get closer, and it died before it reached the stage.

The lights clicked off, and the survivors stood there awkwardly.

"That's it, huh?" Nick said, unimpressed. "Woo. Good plan."

The lights clicked back on, and different music started up. The Horde screamed again.

"OK, Round Two, people!" Coach shouted.

Shit, Nick knew this song. One Bad Man. His ex-wife liked to joke that it was about him. That bitch. Still, he thought it was ok. For an_ old man_ band.

And as he helped the others kill Infected, he found himself getting into the music. Shit, this was actually kind of awesome. No, it _was_ awesome! There was badass music playing and they were kicking the shit out of zombies. This was badass. _BAD. ASS._

Nick was pretty psyched by the time the song switched into the guitar solo. He thought he could probably take the Tank that appeared with just his crowbar. Not that he was actually going to try it, though.

Fireworks shot up high into the air as the guitar solo started, exploding into sparkling fire glitter. Nick helped blast the Tank, hoping against hope that the helicopter pilot would see the fireworks and come back.

The Tank fell dead to the ground, and the music stopped, though the fireworks continued to shoot off. The four survivors watched the sky hopefully. There was no sign of the copter, and they started to lose hope.

Then, over one of the sides of the stadium, the copter appeared. It flew in low, circled, and landed next to the right-hand side of bleachers, hovering.

"It worked!" Nick shouted joyously. "I love you, Coach!"

"Well shit, then why'd you give _me_ the hickey?" Rochelle joked in a low voice, grinning.

He grinned back at her and they started running for the helicopter, beating the fresh wave of Infected who ran at them out of their way. They jumped in and helped Coach and Ellis inside, and the pilot pulled away and flew out before an incoming Tank caught up.

Flying safely above the ground, the four survivors laughed and joked contentedly, hoping to meet other survivors in the New Orleans evac station. Nick put his hand over Rochelle's and squeezed it. She leaned against him and sighed, and they looked out over the land.

Up here, it was like the zombie apocalypse had never happened.

* * *

OH ELLIS YOU ARE ONE GIANT COCKBLOCK

Also Hugh Dillon did Nick's voice, in case you didn't know. And yes, he's a musician.

Shit, this is the fastest and longest fanfic I've written. It was done in what, four days? Jesus.

So, hope you liked it. I loved reading your responses and writing it. Sorry it was done so fast. See you somewhere!


	8. Transition to Swamp Fever

"Do you know how much farther it is to the evac station?" Ellis asked the pilot.

The man shook his head, and Ellis settled back against the side of the helicopter and sighed.

"Man, seems like this is takin' _forever_," he complained.

Nick couldn't help but agree. At least the seemingly permanent night that had hung over the carnival had finally turned into day. That was something. Now they could clearly see the complete chaos and destruction the green flu had caused down below. Hooray!

Rochelle shifted in her sleep. Nick put a hand on her head and smiled. Well, at least something good had come of this nightmare. And once they were at the evac station, they could shower, and Rochelle and he could find a private place and—

The pilot coughed suddenly, startling Nick out of his thoughts. He continued to cough for a while, hunched over the controls.

As the pilot's coughing fit came to an end, Nick met Coach's eye and saw he was thinking the same thing. _Infected?_

"Hey, uh, buddy?" Nick said carefully, watching the pilot. He shook Rochelle awake. "You feelin' all right?"

"Yeah, I'm go-"

He coughed even harder than before, sounding like he was almost choking. He fought to get control of his breath, wheezing.

Rochelle and Ellis had quickly caught on to what might be happening. They scooted slightly away from the pilot.

"Nick," Rochelle whispered, sliding behind him and peering at the pilot over Nick's shoulder. She was holding on to him. "Is he infected?"

"I don't know," he murmured back, not taking his eyes off the pilot. "I'd say there's a good chance."

The coughing stopped, but the labored breathing continued. The pilot straightened up. Everyone watched him tensely.

_This was a BAD idea_, Nick thought wildly, feeling his heart hammering in his chest. _We are UP in the air with probably the LAST pilot on Earth and now the poor bastard is turning into a ZOMBIE. If he doesn't kill us, the crash will. Super choices._

Sure enough, the former pilot rose from his seat, letting go of the controls. The chopper started to descend, nose-first. The four had started to slide towards the now snarling pilot, but they all managed to grab onto something, keeping out of his grasp for a few moments. Then the zombie grew frustrated and lunged forward, grabbing onto Ellis's shoe. Ellis yelled and kicked at its hands. It let go and slid back, growling at the four of them.

"_Guys?_" Nick prompted, looking over at Coach and Ellis. Was someone going to take care of this before they crashed into the ground or what?

Coach and Ellis were looking back at him. Their expressions revealed that they had no idea what to do.

"_OhGodOhGodOhGod!_" Rochelle whimpered softly from behind him. No help there, either, and the zombie was coming towards them again.

Well, _fuck_. Someone had to do _something_.

* * *

God I am such a masochist. That's ok, it's going to take scads longer to write the Swamp Fever part, mostly because I get lost a lot and end up back where I started. Also I don't know the layout well, and really only remember the last stage of it (because it's GORGEOUS when you step out of the safe room).

But here's this for now.


	9. Swamp Fever Part One

Shooting the pilot hadn't been the _ideal_ choice, but it had been the _only_ choice. Nevertheless, Nick still caught flak from Ellis.

"Nick, what the hell, you shot the pilot!" the youth complained.

"Well he wasn't doing a very good job once he became a _zombie_, now _was_ he?" Nick replied, then added disapprovingly, "I can't believe none of you were going to shoot him."

"That's true," Rochelle agreed (good ol' Ro). "If I had to pick a low point in the flight, it was probably when he stopped flying the chopper and attacked us."

Everyone nodded, and a silence fell over the group. They had somehow survived the helicopter crash (although almost all their weapons were gone, as well as Rochelle's stuffed croc and Ellis's backpack) and had wandered through several barren fields until stumbling across a set of train cars near an abandoned town. They were currently inside a car with some silenced machine guns and pump shotguns, as well as some medkits.

Nick took the initiative and grabbed a shotgun. After strapping one of the medkits to his back, he turned to the others.

"So what's the plan?" he asked. "We head through this town and then…?"

"Poor Gnome Chomski," Ellis interrupted sadly, looking upset. "I can't believe I lost him."

"He's in the wild now, I'm sure he's ecstatic," Nick snapped, impatient to get moving.

"Does…anyone actually know where we are?" Rochelle asked hopefully.

"Some dump?" Nick wasn't feeling particularly friendly. But then having your hopes plummet and burn in the form of a helicopter crash could do that to you.

There was a gas station ahead which was almost certainly empty, another mood booster. The four of them decided to just head out and try to find a way through…wherever they were.

"Grab whatever you can find to hit something with," Coach instructed them.

A green sign with large letters was hung up on the chainlink fence encircling the gas station. The group paused to read it.

"No CEDA, No Military. Stay Out," Coach read aloud.

"When they say stay out, I'm sure they mean someone else," Rochelle assured the others. Ellis nodded enthusiastically.

"Couldn't keep us out if they tried," he agreed.

"Great, we crash land in front of a village that hates everyone," Nick complained.

"Sounds like you'll fit right in," Rochelle smirked, then wondered aloud, "Do you think they put this sign up before or after the infection?"

"With our luck, before," Coach sighed, and the group headed over to the gas pumps.

Nick glanced at the price of gas next to the "OUT OF GAS" sign and felt his jaw drop. While he was gaping at the seven dollar a gallon fee, Ellis ran forward and snatched up the machete lying behind the gas pumps.

"Gettin' slow, Nick," he taunted, brandishing the machete.

Nick tore his eyes from the ludicrous price and saw that Pint Size had seized the only melee weapon in sight. He scowled at him.

"If you hit me with that you'll be swallowing your teeth," Nick threatened, walking over to a small storage area opposite the pumps.

Inside were an Infected who Nick promptly killed, a bottle of puke, a bottle of pills, an adrenaline shot, and a frying pan. He pocketed the pills and claimed the puke before reluctantly picking the last item up. Nick studied it, looking unhappy.

"What?" Rochelle asked, walking up to him after she noticed his expression. "You managed to find a melee weapon, what are you unhappy about?"

"It's just…a frying pan is such a _woman's_ weapon," he sighed.

Rochelle put her hands on her hips, knowing she wouldn't like where this inquiry would go. "Why?"

"Because it's used for cooking."

He thought she was going to yell or hit him really hard. Ro's lips were pressed together so tight he could hardly see them, and she had clenched her hands into fists. But after a moment, she suddenly relaxed and smiled at him. Nick cautiously took a step back, more nervous about smiling Ro than furious Ro.

"Nick, I didn't know you ate," she said, batting her eyes. "I thought you just sucked the happiness out of others and fed off their misery. Like a Dementor."

"Well, I have to eat when I'm alone, then, don't I?" he replied.

"Bet you were alone a _lot_," she shot back, then walked away.

_Goddamn helicopter crash. Goddamn flu. Goddamn Ro_, he cursed. The sooner they got out of this awful place, the better.

Past the gas station was a path that led to some houses, or what used to be houses. Many had gaping holes in the walls, and almost all the front doors were wide open.

"Anything in those houses?" Coach wondered.

Ellis readied his machete and adjusted his hat. "Only one way t' find out."

"Careful lookin' for supplies, show respect," Coach warned. "They used to _belong_ to people."

"Honestly, Coach, I don't think they'd mind if we rummage through their stuff," Nick replied, strolling to the nearest house. "They're probably all dead."

Inside the house were three bunk beds. On the floor was a mattress with a blanket and some pillows. If it wasn't for the fact that the entire back wall was gone (oh, and the zombies, couldn't forget them), it would have been a good place to rest. It was supply-free, however. Not that Nick really needed anything else, except a melee weapon that didn't _suck_.

Nick walked back out and noticed there was a bigger house across from the one he was standing in. He shot the few Infected staggering around outside it and then hurried over to it. He ignored the No Trespassing sign by the front door and went in. He heard footsteps behind him and quickly looked back, relaxing a little when he saw it was Rochelle.

"Find anything?" he asked, looking around the house.

"Nope," she replied, also searching the house.

It was pretty nondescript; there were a few empty bookshelves, a fridge, a stove, a bathroom, and another mattress on the floor. Nick was on his way out when he heard Rochelle call for him. He turned back and joined her in the kitchen.

"I picked this up just for you," she said, grinning broadly at him and holding something up.

It was another goddamn frying pan.

"You should keep it," he replied, heading back to the front door. "You were _born_ to use it."

He walked past a shack with a FOR RENT sign as Rochelle ran to catch up with him.

"Being an asshole may have worked before, Nick, but you can change that tune now if you want," she suggested, glaring at him.

Nick saw she was holding the frying pan and tried hard not to smile. Or say something sexist. It would give him some sort of aneurysm, but he would try, damnit.

"Don't be so sensitive," he managed to say. "Where's the Ro who kicks ass and doesn't take any shit? By the way, _really_ glad you brought that along. I'm _so_ hungry."

"I was going to use it to brain some zombies, but you'll do just fine," she replied, raising it threateningly.

Nick quickly ran past an abandoned car and headed for Coach and Ellis, who were checking out an empty store called Jones + Son. All three of them ignored the Private Property sign by the door as they looked around. There were several fridges, an ATM, and a lot of empty shelves. A large, faded poster on the back wall suggested it had been a dairy store.

"Nuthin' here, fellas," Ellis reported.

"Gotta be _sumthin_'," Coach grumbled, walking out of the store.

Nick froze on the porch as the other two headed for something called Earl's Gator Village. Ro wasn't anywhere to be seen. Sure, she could be in one of the houses, but since they hadn't seen any Special Infected yet…

"RO!" he hollered, looking around.

"Smoker's got me!" came faintly from the big house behind the shack.

He took off running towards the house, trying to hear where exactly they were.

"Help!" she cried, sounding louder.

_She was somewhere to the right of the house_, Nick thought, _probably behind a tree or someth_—

Nick tripped over a small picket fence he had failed to see and went sprawling face first onto the ground, banging his shin on it and dropping his frying pan. A nearby Infected whirled around and stared at him, blinking. Nick scrambled to his feet and picked up the pan, shoving the Infected out the way and sprinting towards the sounds Rochelle was making.

Sure enough, the Smoker bastard had hidden behind a tree and lassoed her. The gangly thing was beating the crap out of her as she struggled uselessly to free herself. Nick clutched the handle of the frying pan with both hands and swung at the Smoker as hard as he could.

_**CLANG!**_

Rochelle immediately fell to the ground as the Smoker burst into a cloud of choking gas. Nick coughed and choked, trying to fan the gas away. The lone Infected came running at him and he whacked it upside the head with the pan as well.

The gas dissipated quickly enough, and Nick knelt beside her.

"Did you miss me? Come on, let's get you up," he grinned. "Let me look at you."

"Does my hair look good?" Rochelle asked, sounding miserable.

"Uh, sure." He frowned, a little worried. "Are you hurt?"

"I don't know, get me up," she grumbled, grabbing his hand.

He pulled her to her feet and dusted her off.

"Well, how do I look?" she demanded, slightly hunched and clutching her side.

"Filthy," Nick declared. "Also injured."

He noticed Coach and Ellis jogging over and waved them away.

"She's fine," he assured them. "Just needs Dr. Nick to work his magic."

Ellis snorted and rolled his eyes. "Dr. Nick's a _quack_."

Rochelle giggled and winced, rubbing her throat. Coach laughed.

"I agree with that," he nodded. "Come on, boy, let's see if that so-called 'restaurant' has any food."

"Let's find some place with a little more cover before I heal you," Nick suggested.

Nick patiently followed behind Rochelle as she limped after Coach and Ellis. He scanned the woods as best he could for any Infected, but the only ones he saw were past the restaurant they were heading to. No immediate worries.

The abandoned restaurant had the charming moniker "Earl's Gator Village". Inside were a jukebox (that still functioned! Nick noted with surprise and a little amusement), several tables and chairs, a counter with a lantern and a Molotov on it, several ovens that were most likely empty, and a cigarette dispenser. Nick eyed this last item hungrily.

"Earl's Gator Village? This just keeps getting better," Rochelle sighed.

"Grabbin the Mollie," Ellis announced.

"He's getting everything before you today, isn't he?" Rochelle grinned.

Nick hip-checked her onto one of the blue couches on the porch of the restaurant. She yelped in surprise and fell backwards, flailing and landing on her ass.

"_O_-kay, time for your healing," Nick declared, taking out the gauze.

"Touched a nerve, did I?" she smirked up at him.

He rolled a piece of tape over her mouth so she couldn't talk. She mmfed at him angrily.

"Trust me, that was the most important part of this process," he assured her, moving on to treat her actual injuries.

Rochelle ripped the tape off with a wince.

"_You_ need this more than anyone," she insisted, slapping it over his mouth.

He grimaced and ripped it off, making a noise of disgust.

"_Uck_! _Germs_, Rochelle! Ever heard of them? They're what _caused_ this whole zombie mess?"

"Wah wah wah, complain complain complain," she taunted. "You almost done with this or what?"

He yanked her hair. She gasped and then yanked his harder. He cursed and gave her a shove, but because she was already sitting down on the couch it didn't do much. She stood up and shoved him back. He moved back about two inches.

"You're pretty lively for a cripple," he observed. "Maybe you were faking it so I'd touch you."

"I wasn't _crippled_, I was _injured_," Rochelle clarified. "And _I_ didn't ask you to heal me."

"You didn't say _no_," he replied with a lilt in his voice.

"Well it saved me a medpack," she pointed out.

While they argued, Ellis turned on the jukebox. He didn't see any tracks listed, so he jabbed a button at random.

"Play some Riders!" Coach called.

"I'll see if they're on here," Ellis replied, waiting for the record to play.

When The Saints Go Marching In came on, and Ellis immediately jabbed another button, cutting it off. A new record was placed on the track, and One Bad Man started playing.

"Now _that's_ more like it!" Ellis cried happily, smiling.

"—don't need you protecting me!" Rochelle snapped, heading for a garage with a giant truck.

"Fine, then let's see how long you last without me!" Nick called after her.

She ignored him and took something off the left wall, dropping her frying pan.

_Oh godDAMNit_, Nick thought, getting even angrier. _Did she just find a better melee weapon_?

She swaggered past him, swinging her new axe and showing it off.

"I'll be there when you throw yourself off-balance and land ass-up in front of a Hunter!" he yelled at her.

"Don't get all bitchy because I found the best melee weapon and you're stuck with that…what was it? _Woman's_ weapon?" she taunted.

He frowned and narrowed his eyes at her. This wasn't over. He would find an axe, too, and that'd put an end to this.

Coach and Ellis walked past him and into the garage. He followed after them, hearing the sound of Rochelle decapitating Infected off in the distance.

"Chainsaw here!" Coach announced, grabbing it and dropping his cricket bat. "You want that, Nick?"

"What is this, Shaun of the Dead? That piece of crap'd probably break after two swings!" Nick snorted. He tried not to think that his own frying pan was probably even worse. But then he'd brained a Smoker and an Infected, and it hadn't dented or broke. Yet.

"I was just offerin'," Coach grumbled, glaring at Nick as he shuffled out.

"Nick, there's a Molotov here, ya want it?" Ellis asked, holding it out to him.

Nick was still in a bad mood, and wanted to take it from the kid and fling it over his shoulder without looking. He realized, though, that if he did that the whole goddamn place would go up and they'd all be fucked. So instead he calmly accepted it and tried to say thank you. It came out as "Thurroo".

"What?" Ellis looked confused and a little worried. "Nick, are you having a stroke? You look kind of constipated."

"Having a stroke would be preferable," Nick muttered under his breath, then said louder, "I was trying to say _thank_ you."

"Looked like it damn near killed you," Ellis grinned.

"Just about," Nick sniffed, then exited the garage and looked at the white van next to it.

The van was empty, but the rear lights were still on. Nick wondered if the driver had been attacked and pulled out or if they had gotten out on foot and gone on ahead.

"Holy sh—guys, come look at this!" Rochelle cried.

Nick thought she sounded a little awed, and the three men hurried over to see what it was she was gaping at.

"Goddamn!" Coach shouted.

"Jesus Christ!" Nick exclaimed, impressed.

"Holy cow!" Ellis cried, staring up at the sight above them.

Someone, or some_ones_ had captured a Charger and strung it up with rope, spread-eagled, from two tall wooden posts. Flies buzzed noisily around the carcass. Nick wondered how many people had died to accomplish this, and if it had been alive when they tied it up. Either way, it was quite a feat. Inspiring, too. Nick was careful not to get his hopes _too_ high, of course. He stomped them back into a reasonably low place, remembering the disappointment the helicopter crash had brought. And Gibbs's car breaking down hadn't been great, either. He had to expect the worst; that was what usually greeted them.

"I bet they hit it with that car, and then strung it up!" Ellis guessed excitedly, pointing at a yellow car that had barely stopped short of the river.

"The hood ain't dented or nothin'," Coach pointed out. "Maybe they found it dead, or just dogpiled on it and beat its ass to death."

"Maybe," Ellis agreed reluctantly. "'s not as cool as hittin' it with a car. If I had my truck, then-"

"Back to the task at hand," Nick interrupted loudly. "We need to get across this river."

"Yeah, let's just cut through the gator park and visit the crazy militants in the swamp. Sound good?" Rochelle asked, trying to sound upbeat.

"No," Nick replied.

"That gator part does not sound good at _all_," Ellis agreed.

"Gators will mess you _up_!" Coach warned.

"Ok, we're not going to swim with them or anything, jeez," Rochelle muttered.

"Good, 'cuz swimmin' with gators? Why no thank you," Ellis said.

"C'mon, what to do we have to lose?" she encouraged.

"Uh, our _lives_?" Nick snorted, as if it was obvious.

"Nick, that boat is our only way across. We aren't goin' _anywhere_ by staying on this side," she argued.

"I might be more inclined to agree with you if I had an axe…" he hinted.

She glared at him and folded her arms. "Subtle. We'll get ready, and then call the ferry. OK, guys?"

They spread out to see if anything had been overlooked. On a table nearby was a pile of ammo, along with a silenced machine gun. Nick swapped his shotgun for it, figuring it would work better for hitting distant targets than a shotgun would. A pay phone was against the wall of a nearby two-story building. Nick sauntered over and picked up the phone.

"Hello? Yeah, I'd like to get a break," he joked, then lowered his voice and added, "Please let some people be alive, for Ro and Ellis's sake. And not _zombie_ alive, either, smartass, because I know the stunts you pull—"

"Nick, are you talking to yourself?" Rochelle asked, standing behind him and looking worried.

He slammed the phone down. "No. I was…pep talking to myself."

"That's still talking to yourself."

"But not…_crazy_ talking to yourself," he pointed out.

She made a noncommittal noise in her throat that bothered him.

"Isn't there something you should be doing other than bothering me?" he demanded, feeling embarrassed.

"I guess. Nothing else is as fun, though," she teased.

She walked away from him and climbed a nearby ladder, searching the second story for supplies. Nick sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Maybe someone would find a can of bug spray.

They gathered underneath the Earl's Gator Village banner that hung over the lever used to call the ferry. Rochelle had found a pipe bomb, but that was it. Nick read the sign nearby.

"Gone to village des merde. That sounds promising," he scoffed.

"It does _not_ say merde!" Rochelle cried, hurrying over and reading it herself. "See, look, it's cut off by that blood splattered all over it."

"Even _better_! Now we _know_ they made it."

"Time t' ride the ferry!" Ellis called out, hitting the lever to start it.

The group readied themselves as the cry of the Horde echoed all around. Nick heard a Spitter, Hunter, and Charger as well. He tried to spot one of them between the incoming Infected running at them. The Spitter appeared in the second story window, and he killed it before it got the chance to saturate the ground with acid. Coach killed the Hunter. Nick figured one of the others would get the Charger, and focused on whacking away Infected with his frying pan.

"Okay, that is the _slowest_ boat ever, man!" Ellis complained.

Nick glanced back and saw it was maybe a quarter of the way there. He growled in annoyance and turned back to the Infected.

A Charger cried out, and Nick saw it streak past him, knocking Coach and Ellis backwards. It charged out into the water and plummeted into the depths, where gators probably ate it. That or it decided living underwater was way better than charging people on land and never came back. Either way, they didn't see it again.

"HEY! I, uh…kinda slipped!" Rochelle cried, sounding embarrassed.

"Oh, _there's_ a sound that's familiar," Nick smirked, heading over to her while Coach and Ellis fought off the Infected.

"Just help me up please," she begged, glancing back at the water. Her legs were submerged in it. "I don't want to be gator food."

"You in one piece?" he asked, grabbing her hand and pulling her back onto land. "Still got both legs, right?"

"_Yes_." She glared at him, brushing ineffectually at her pants. "Well. _That_ was embarrassing."

"_I'll_ say," Nick agreed. "I think you owe me an _axe_ for—"

"Oh give it a rest already," she said, rolling her eyes. "Hey, look, the ferry's halfway here!"

They joined the others in killing Infected, until finally, _finally_ the ferry arrived.

"Okay, people, everyone onto the ferry!" Coach shouted.

They all scrambled on board, and Nick slapped the button. The door slid shut and the motor hummed, carrying them to the opposite side at the same excruciatingly slow pace.

"So, umm…do you guys know anything about the swamps?" Rochelle asked hopefully.

"I don't think _anyone_ likes the swamps," Coach replied seriously.

"Thanks, Coach," Rochelle sighed.

"Listen up, everybody, be on the lookout for blood farmers. I'm _serious_," Ellis added, noticing the looks the others were giving him.

"Blood farmers?" Rochelle repeated doubtfully.

"What the _hell_ are you talking about, Ellis?" Nick demanded.

"Duh? Farmers that don't grow crops, they grow people. To _eat_," he stressed.

"Ellis, you a crazy man," Coach declared as the ferry banged to a stop.

It was eerily quiet on the other side. All Nick could see were trees, and a shack off to the left. A wooden walkway ran ahead of them, then turned left.

"Careful, guys," Coach said in a low voice. "When it's this quiet, you _know_ it can't be good."

They all crept forward, trying to see if anything charged at them suddenly. It remained still and quiet, until—

"Oh SHIT! TANK!" Coach shouted as the monster's familiar roar echoed through the air.

"Get away from the water!" Nick warned, pushing Rochelle ahead onto the walkway. "If we get knocked in, we're gator chow!"

They ran down the walkway until a house came into view on the left. Unfortunately, the Tank came into sight as well. It hurled a chunk of concrete (_CONCRETE_! Nick's panicked mind screamed, _Where did it get CONCRETE_!) at the group, forcing them to scatter in different directions. Nick cried out in pain as a large piece of concrete smashed into his leg.

"Come on, suck it up," he hissed to himself, forcing himself to his feet.

The Tank roared again and then loped menacingly after Coach, who immediately took off in the opposite direction.

"Goddamnit!" he cursed, panting at firing back at the Tank with his shotgun. "I knew I shoulda lost some weight!"

Nick held his ground and fired as best he could at the Tank, but a lone Infected ran up behind him and punched his shoulder, messing up his aim. A shot went wild, hitting Coach, who had doubled back towards Nick and the others with the Tank in hot pursuit.

"Hey, Nick, that was my _ass_ you shot!" he shouted angrily, glaring as he ran by.

"Hard to miss a target like that!" Nick shot back, but kept firing at the Tank.

The Infected kept smacking at his back, though, so he couldn't really get a good shot. He whirled around and smashed its head in with the frying pan, then turned back to the Tank.

It was right in his face. Nick had enough time to open his mouth for a surprised yell before the muscled thing knocked him back through a window of the house. Glass broke and fell around him as he landed on the floor, winded. After he caught his breath, he painfully climbed to his feet in time to see the Tank coming through the doorway.

_Shit, there's nowhere to go. No, wait, there's a hole behind me with a bunch of disgusting, filthy SWAMP water that'll slow me down_, Nick thought. _That'll probably give me an advantage_.

As his mind ran through these thoughts, he grasped the frying pan with both hands and swung it full force at the charging Tank.

The _**CLANG****! **_of the pan connecting with its headechoed throughout the swamp. The Tank stopped dead, looking almost comically surprised as it fell backwards to the floor. Nick watched it nervously, still breathing heavily and clutching the frying pan with both hands. When it didn't get up and knock his ass through another window, he laughed in relief and fell back onto the floor.

"Nick!" Rochelle shouted, running through the doorway. "You all right?"

She stopped and looked down at him lying on the floor. He was giggling a little.

"What?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I bonked it on the head with the frying pan, and," he had to try and stop laughing before continuing, "and it fell over with this _look_—"

Nick broke up into a fit of laughter, rolling onto his side. Rochelle rolled her eyes.

"Couldn't have been _that_ funny," she muttered, secretly wishing she had seen it.

He stopped a short while later, growing serious. "That was pretty close, huh? Think my jacket's ok, or did the glass do a number on it?"

"Glad to see you're still more worried about your clothes than your life," she smirked, putting her hands on her hips. "Are you done laying around? You ready to get up?"

She bent and grabbed his hand without waiting for an answer. She tried to straighten and pull him up but he pulled her down on top of him instead.

"Listen," he began.

"Nick, ya all right? That Tank had you cornered and—holy cow!" Ellis cried, his eyes growing wide. "Lookit that _gun_!"

Nick and Rochelle followed his gaze to a big gun that was sitting on the bottom shelf of an otherwise empty stand. Ellis ran over and picked it up, dropping his machine gun and staring at it with a look a lot like love.

"This here," he said in a quiet, awed voice, "is a _grenade_ launcher."

A few moments of silence passed as Ellis gazed lovingly at the gun.

"So…have you two set a date?" Nick asked from the floor.

Rochelle scrambled off him and onto her feet as Ellis looked over in confusion. "What? Date? Nick, you can't _date_ a gun. Though I'd make an exception for this one."

"I bet you would," Nick muttered, getting to his feet and brushing himself off.

"Listen up, y'all, we gotta choice to make!" Coach announced, walking through the doorway. "We can go either left or right. They both lead to the same place, they've just got different signs hanging above them."

"What are the signs?" Rochelle asked.

"Well, one has a gator over it, and the other says Observation Deck."

"I vote Observation Deck," Rochelle replied immediately, raising her hand.

"I _also_ vote Observation Deck," Nick agreed, raising his hand as well.

"Good, 'cuz there was no way in _hell_ I was goin' though somethin' with a picture of a gator!" Coach admitted. "Walkway or no walkway."

"I coulda blown 'em outta the water with this!" Ellis replied, holding up the grenade launcher.

"_Or_, he could have blown _us_ up," Nick muttered to Rochelle as the group headed for the Observation Deck. "I don't feel safe as long as he has that thing."

"He'll be careful," Rochelle replied. She didn't sound certain.

They climbed up the steps and onto the raised walkway, following the path and looking down for any Infected. They came across a picnic table with some guns and pills on it. Abandoned sleeping bags were crumpled nearby. Nick picked up a fresh machine gun and took the pills he had been carrying to relieve some of the pain in his leg.

And back.

And neck.

And head.

He sighed and picked up a new bottle of pills, attaching it to his belt before continuing on.

Both the gator and observation path met and ended in a narrow walkway with a roof and light shining down over a lone table. A Hunting Rifle or two sat on the table. Nick raised an eyebrow.

"Who in the hell keeps leaving all these guns around?" Nick wondered aloud.

The others appeared not to have heard him. Coach picked up one of the rifles and grinned at Ellis.

"Hey, boy. POW!" He mimed shooting the gun. "Some bitches about to get _sniped_!"

Ellis flinched a little and then grinned back. "Good luck killin' a Witch with _that_. Now this baby here? _No_ problem."

"E_nough_ about the _gun_ already, Ellis!" Nick complained, rolling his eyes. "You're hot for it, we get it."

Ellis pouted, sticking out his lower lip. "Jus' think it's cool 's all."

Ro glared at him as Coach and Ellis proceeded down the stairs up ahead. "He was just excited. You made him feel bad."

"Call 911, I hurt his feelings," Nick snorted, rolling his eyes. "He needs to toughen up. This is a _zombie apocalypse_."

"Grabbin' an axe!" Ellis called from below.

Nick stopped in his tracks and stared down at him in disbelief.

_No WAY that little punk got an axe_, he thought. _It must be some kind of sick joke to drive me bonkers. He KNOWS I need an axe to end this little feud with Rochelle. And he just TOOK it_.

Nick sputtered furiously and wordlessly as he descended the stairs, staring at the machete Ellis had dropped.

"I—y—th—"

"What, baby gonna cry?" Ellis mocked, and then burst out laughing and continued down the path.

Nick clenched his fists and bared his teeth, glaring at him but not replying. He snatched up the machete and threw the frying pan down, hurrying after Coach and Ellis. Rochelle casually eyed his new melee weapon.

"Nice," she said lightly, smiling. "Isn't that what Lara Croft uses?"

He suppressed a smile.

"_Actually_, she uses two pistols," he recalled, and then scrunched his face up in thought. "At least, I _think_ she uses two pistols. I was busy staring at her hooters, bein' a teenage guy and all."

"Yeah," Ellis agreed, sighing fondly. "She was _great_."

Rochelle felt awkward during the silence that followed and decided to keep quiet, not having anything to say about Lara's "hooters" (other than they looked silly, to her, at least). They passed through some bushes and squished over some wet ground, walking towards a shack and some planks that had been laid down.

"I think we can get across here," Coach said, eyeing the planks warily.

"Coach, if you break those goddamn planks," Nick warned.

"I _won't_, jus' shut up an' let me do this!" Coach snapped, and then hurried across the planks onto the solid(er) ground ahead.

Ellis quickly followed after, then turned and motioned for Rochelle to go.

"Be careful," Nick said, looking worried.

"I'll be _fine_," she smirked, looking back at him as she stepped onto the planks. "I have boots. I am _so_ ready for the swamps."

"You'll be singin' a different tune once you run into the bugs," he replied, following close behind her.

"_Ugh_." She made a face. "I forgot about them."

"Now that is a darn shame," Ellis said solemnly as Nick and Rochelle joined him. He was looking at a rusted car sitting in the swamp water.

"You can mourn it later, let's keep moving," Nick insisted, spotting more planks to their right.

He went first this time, and so he was the first one to spot the light up ahead. He was also the first one to hear the Witch.

"Oh goddamnit," he grumbled to the others. "Witch up ahead."

"Where?" Coach whispered.

Nick peered ahead and thought he saw her hunched over and crying behind one of the bushes near the drainage ditch. Just seeing it made him angry. He thought of the one at the carnival that had almost killed Rochelle.

"By that bush over there," he replied, pointing.

"I think I can make it by her if I keep away from 'er and run straight fo' the ditch," Coach said, frowning.

He took a deep breath and readied himself, then sprinted past her and ran into the ditch. The Witch had started growling and had half-stood up as he ran by, but once he was safely in the ditch she calmed down. Rochelle raised her axe.

"I'll give that Witch something to cry about," she threatened, taking a step forward.

Nick took out his gun and followed her, keeping some distance between them. Sure enough, the Witch stood up and screamed before Rochelle had time to even swing, and Rochelle immediately turned and hauled ass back towards the planks.

"Oh shit, man, that Witch is a spaz!" Ellis commented, staring at the shrieking woman.

"SHIT I'M SORRY!" Rochelle apologized to the Witch, still running.

The Witch didn't buy it, since she kept pursuing Rochelle. Time seemed to slow down as the Witch neared Nick.

_Look at how fast she's running_, he thought. _And she's probably not even watching where she's going. You know, I bet I could_—

He had stuck his foot out before he knew it, and the Witch tripped right over it and when flying forward, landing right in front of Ellis on her face, arms and legs splayed. Ellis hollered in terror and jumped back, but Nick, who was not thinking at _all_ at this point, quickly ran and threw himself down so that he was sitting on the Witch's back, weighing her down. The Witch screamed and thrashed and tried to claw at Nick, but he didn't move.

"I can't believe it worked," he said in amazement, and then looked up at Ellis. "Ellis, get over here and take care of it."

"I'm not—I'm not goin' near the cryin' girl!" Ellis protested, coming forward a little anyway.

"Oh _man_ up," Nick said impatiently. "If you're not gonna kill it, then at least sit on her with me so she doesn't get up."

"Hey! Don't be doin' that!" Coach shouted from the ditch.

They both ignored him. He was safe over there, after all, and didn't have a screaming, thrashing banshee woman writhing under his ass. Ellis and Nick calmly sat and stared at the Witch, wondering what to do next.

"You didn't really think this through, did you?" Ellis accused.

"No. It just seemed like a good idea at the time," Nick admitted, shrugging.

Rochelle cautiously approached and then stopped at the sight before her.

"What are you two idiots _doing_?" she demanded.

"Waiting for you to _kill_ her so she doesn't kill _us_," Nick replied.

"And…sitting on her was going to help…_how_, exactly?" Rochelle asked.

"I didn't plan it through, all right!" Nick snapped, wishing someone would do something so that he felt like less of a fool. "Just use that axe you're so damn proud of and take care of her!"

Rochelle crept a little bit forward, watching the Witch warily. The Witch was not happy with the situation at _all_ and kept screaming at the top of her lungs and trying to rip Nick and Ellis a new asshole.

"Quit triflin' with that bitch! She gonna _explode_!" Coach warned from the ditch.

A few overhead swings and screams of terror from Ellis later, and the Witch was dead. Rochelle marched triumphantly towards the ditch as Nick walked beside her.

"See? It worked," Nick gloated, looking smug. "You can say thank you whenever you want."

"Thanks, Nick, for making yourself look ridiculous so I could kill the Witch and take the glory," she replied, smirking.

"Me? Ridiculous? _I_ wasn't the one who started screaming."

"Hey, havin' an axe swung that close to yer leg is no joke," Ellis said seriously, looking angry.

Rochelle closed the ditch's door behind them, and they gathered to discuss the order of that watch.

"First off, Nick, you a fool. Second, that shit was pretty funny," Coach laughed.

"It was pretty _brilliant_," Nick replied, and Rochelle rolled her eyes.

"Look, there're sleepin' bags in here!" Ellis said excitedly, pointing at them.

"Good, 'cuz this floor looks pretty wet," Rochelle replied, grimacing.

"I'll take the first watch, since I'm still pretty wired from that whole Witch deal," Ellis volunteered, pulling up a chair.

Coach agreed to go second, then crawled into a sleeping bag on the far side of the ditch and was soon fast asleep. Rochelle dragged a sleeping bag next to one of the tables with supplies and then looked down at it. Nick joined her.

"Wanna share one?" he asked quietly.

"Coach is right, you're a fool if you think _that's_ happening," she snorted.

"What? It's a good way to keep warm!" he protested.

"Yeah, and then you're gonna go, 'Y'know, the best way to keep warm is to sleep together naked.'"

"I've actually tested that, and…it's true," he said, smiling at her.

She managed not to smile back, but she could feel her face starting to heat up. "I'm not surprised."

"Me either," Ellis piped up. "Always thought you 're kinda a sleaze, Nick."

Nick glared over at him. "Thanks, dude. Anything _else_ you'd like to say to ruin the moment?"

"Nick, trust me, there wasn't a moment," Ellis replied, looking back out the door.

Nick glared at him, annoyed, and Rochelle took the opportunity to grin at the side of his head. When he turned back to look at her, she was serious again.

"All right, we'll share one," she said quietly, "but your clothes stay _on_."

"Fine, fine, let me just take off my shoes and jacket," he grumbled, but he was grinning happily.

She kicked off her own boots and climbed in. He slid in behind her and she stared at the wall, trying not to think about how closely they were pressed up against each other. She could feel his breath on her hair, and—

"You know, it's not too late for the naked idea," he offered.

She looked back over her shoulder at him and glared. "I will elbow you in the throat, Nick."

"Such a romantic," he said sarcastically.

She tried shifting forward, but the whole bag moved and she didn't really go anywhere.

"Stop, you're messing it up," Nick complained.

"_You're_ the one who wanted to do this in the first place!" she pointed out.

"I wanted to do it _naked_. It would have _worked_ naked."

Rochelle huffed exasperatedly, keeping her back to him. "No one's ever made me as angry as you do, Nick."

"It's because you _love_ me," he teased, and Rochelle thought she was going to go crazy if he kept breathing on the back of her neck.

"Face the other way," she ordered. "I don't want you breathing all over me."

"Yeah, and try not to snore in 'er ear, Nick," Ellis suggested helpfully.

Nick turned over and glared at him. "I will _knock_ the accent out of you, Ellis."

* * *

Sorry this took so long. D: I can tell Swamp Fever is going to take a while to write, since it's my least favorite stage and the second and third stage keep blending together. But I have some notes for some of the stages, so I'll finish it eventually.

Hope you liked this, I used a lot of the dialogue from the game, since I was browsing the list and a lot of lines made me laugh. I wonder when some of them are said and in what stage. I got the list from the L4D2 GameFaqs Guide section.


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